There’s a little insecurity running around in every pregnant woman–no matter how well she hides it.
And here’s your instructions, world, on how to handle giving her the little bit of support she needs.
Find your role. Fill it. That’s all I’m asking.
No really. My first pregnancy was scary. This second one has been awesome. And the difference? I’ve gotten a little more support than I did the first time. Yep. Just a few words from one or two people…I mean I got great support the first time, but this time, there’s been a little more and it’s made all the difference. Like I said: Find your role. Fill it. That’s all I’m asking.
- From the significant other: “You’re beautiful.” Or some variation on the big-ole baby belly is “cool” or “awesome” or just otherwise makes that significant other happy and shows he/she is not disgusted by its scary giganticness. Because, seriously, it’s wigging us preggies out that our belly is suddenly the size of a small planet. We feel like we should have a few satellites orbiting us…a tiny word of “how cool is that” really means a lot.
- From the significant other (because you’re really significant): “I’m so excited about this baby.” Every pregnant woman has a little bit of worry that this massive change to both your lives is going to somehow make you, the significant other, unhappy or just unhappy with us. We need your reassurance.
- From our own mom or maternal-figure: “You’re going to be great at being a mom.” Because you are a hard act to follow, mom. Really, you are.
- From a woman who’s had a baby before: “It’s not as scary in the hospital as it seems on the movies.” Like really. My Aunt tells this hilarious story about how she only screamed in the delivery room because the other women around her were screaming…it was like group-think! LOL! I knew this going-in with my first and although, yeah, it sucked and there was pain (even though I had the epidural), there was a ton of laughter and fun–even during the pushing…Here’s me saying this to you, in case no one else does: “It’s not as scary in the hospital as it seems in the movies.”
- From a friend: “You should TOTALLY take a pic of that baby-belly!” Every pregnant woman, despite her prior waist-size, has that moment of doubt about her level of “coolness”. Friends, real friends, support your level of cool no matter how ungainly that tiny planet is that you swallowed.
- From the doctor (at any point in time): “We’ve got you taken care of.” Even if we’re not showing it, every pregnant woman has a tiny little fear that things aren’t going to be fine.
- From the significant other (really, your whole title is ‘significant’–get a clue–you’re important!): “We’ve got this–We’re a team.” Us preggies do not want to be alone in this. That’s a scary day, indeed.
- From the nurse (or mom or significant other–ANYONE) on the big day: “The baby is going to be fine–and so are you. You can do this–you’re amazing.” See the honesty about that tiny fear.
- From the significant other (stop raising your eyebrow!) on the big day: “I’m there for you. No matter what.” Yeah, we just need to hear that one more time–we’re about to be a mom, the biggest scariest step of our lives. It’s good to know you’re there with us.
- From herself: Repeat everything above to yourself and hold onto it all dearly. Because it’s all true.