My 13 year old daughter and her friends are all boy crazy. I mean, of course teenagers are boy crazy, but I just wasn’t expecting it this early.
What am I supposed to do? If I tell them to stop talking so much and worrying so much about boys, they won’t. They’ll just do it away from me. Where I can’t head all the juicy details. (They call this spilling the tea.)
I want talk to them about other things. About sports and grades and plays they’re in. What are their hopes and their ambitions.
They want to talk about boys and boys. What are they boys doing right now, and should they text them?
See, here’s the thing– when your daughter reaches teenage years, she starts needing you less and less. Mine used to tell me all about her day when I asked. Now, I am lucky to get more than, “It was okay.”
So, when she actually wants to talk to me, wants to tell me about the stuff going on in her life, I am all ears. Even if that means hearing all about the boy drama. Who is “dating” who, who “broke up” with who, and of course, who likes who.
Sure it’s not the most interesting on the planet, because I know that in three weeks the “love of their life” will be someone else completely different, but they don’t know that, and that’s what matters. It’s what’s most important to her, and that’s what makes it important to me.
Sometimes that’s hard to remember when you the drama is SO big and it’s SO dramatic, but teen hearts are fragile and they break easily.
What they don’t know yet is that broken hearts mend.
That’s a rough lesson to learn, and can only be learned the hard way most of the time, so this is what I can do for my kid. This is how I can be a good mom. It’s basically the equivalent of helping a toddler tie their shoes.
And almost as dramatic.