Confession Time: I Hated Kindermusik
Back when my daughter was a Toddler, I signed her up for Kindermusik. Well, technically I signed us up for Kindermusik, because it was one of those mommy and me type activities.
But I hated it. I dreaded getting ready for it, I dreaded parking my car and getting my kid out in the rain to go inside… I hated being there in a big open room where we had to sit in a little circle with all the other moms and dads, singing out loud and rubbing sandpaper blocks together.
I especially hated rubbing sandpaper blocks together. 
I actually disliked all those mommy and me type classes. Every single one of them. The guided play was so freakin’ weird. Everyone sits in a group with their child sitting in their lap, the instructor then tells you how to play along with your kid, what songs to sing, what beat to clap to… just all sorts of ridiculous stuff that I can seriously do on my own without ten other parents sitting across from me judging me on my singing voice and rhythm style.
I know what you’re thinking: Oh those people don’t care about you– they’re just there to play with their own children and have a good time.Â
Bullshit. You know how I know this? Because I was TOTALLY judging them. That dad can’t sing. That lady needs new highlights. Shouldn’t that little boy be walking better than that. Oh wow, my daughter knows way more words than that kid.Â
Hey, those classes are like an hour long. I can only sing about the mouse going up and down the clock so many times before I go insane— you can’t blame me if my mind wandered a bit.I am just saying if I was thinking things about them, then they were thinking things about me. And, that just sucks. The idea that we are all sitting there comparing parenting points and seeing who’s the best is my least favorite kind of parenting.Â
I am not saying I didn’t like getting out and having my kid play with other kids, I LOVED those activities like gymnastics, etc. I loved watching her interact with other kids, getting to know them, and just seeing all that cool social stuff click in their little minds. The only problem is, how the heck can they do that with their parents sitting on top of them trying to show them proper jingle bell ringing techniques?
Which is what I think the root of my problem is with these kinds of classes.. it’s TOO structured for play with parents and their kids. I taught children for crying out loud, I don’t need some crazy lady in a flower skirt telling me how to interact with them. I just wanted my kid to interact with other children, and to have a good time. Those classes so aren’t about having a good time. They’re about taking your money because you feel like you should be doing that stuff with your child.
So, I want to know– what thing do you hate that you’re supposed to love?
Ugh, on the negative comments. Lol, about the article. I read it outloud to my husband & he shuddered, on our experiences with Kindermusik. I used to force him to go all the time. I was a Kindermusik teacher. The curriculum ideal, makes sense for development. But the songs & activities are cheesy, repetitive & not condusive to modern moms & dads. I know this, because I was good at teaching, because I understood the awkward & redundant, I like better music & I did allow my parents to chill out with one another, while singing & playing with the children. I took the curriculum & jazzed it up… and it was way better & I had large, successful classes. Here’s the other kicker… I worked for an already established program. So boss lady, was making buckets of money, I was doing ALL the work, paying for gas to drive all over the place, getting very limited tax deductions for gas, extra supplies, etc., then filing my taxes, like a small business… while boss chick raked in all the profits, paid me barely anything & because I taught so many classes for her, she was ranked up into Maestro, which is a Kindermusik specialized program, that gives those top owners, leadership perks & bonuses. The old lady asked me to purchase her business… I went through all the business plan/financing motions, paid for her advertising & whatever else she wanted, she pulled the contracts out from under me. Backed out, cost me everything, then turned around & used the Maestro, to keep me in a non compete for a year. Kindermusik wasn’t concerned the damage it did to me… they cared only about that title & her program making them money, even though it was actually me teaching most of the classes. I had a partner at the time & Kindermusik & the old lady, willingly, screwed us both over. We weren’t the only teachers who have dealt with that too. This seems like common practice with most teachers. Kindermusik allows a few teachers, to monopolize areas, then hire cheap teachers, then no competition, is allowed for these teachers, once they are under someone’s umbrella. I wish I could have sued both Kindermusik & the old lady… but they turned me upside down financially, and they knew I couldn’t fight back. There were all kinds of terrible things we had to deal with, but I have blocked most of it out, since then. I dropped my Kindermusik license & just stayed away for years. Now I just teach my own curriculum & it’s pretty fun. Parents seem way more relaxed & happy… so much less awkward & better music/activities. I stay aligned with a fair & balanced pricing system, better made materials, and I make better money just by being my own program & people thinking it’s fun & cool. Take that Kindermusik demons.
Yes! I lead storytimes at my local library and only do storys and songs for 15-20 min then I bring out the toys and let them play. I went to a music and movement class today with my 1 yr old and they had us dancing and walking around the room I felt like a total gobber. It was awkward as hell. I felt sorry for the moms that told me they go every week.
I totally understand what you are saying, some activities require structure and other don’t, I think its important to find what best for you child and explore.
thanks for sharing
Maria
Hi Jamie:) I just read your post about Kindermusik classes which popped up with a general search for Kindermusik instruments. I wanted to post a reply because I’ve been a Piano/Kindermusik teacher for over ten years and felt I could provide a positive perspective on the classes. I have parents contact me all the time about piano lessons for their toddler/preschooler so having these classes available provides a way for parents to introduce their children to music using fun, age-appropriate activities. The baby & toddler classes are so much more than a Mommy & Me class. Music is a very valuable tool for early childhood development and every activity we do has a specific developmental focus (language, social, emotional, fine/gross motor, etc.). Every teacher is naturally different in the way they guide the activities but the Kindermusik philosophy is actually more about providing opportunities for children and parents to explore and share ideas than showing the “right way” to play. The parents who are in my classes love the activities and re-enroll every month. I was just hoping I could provide a positive perspective for parents who might read and share this comment.
Haha! You crack me up. I did enjoy many aspects of having my kids in music class but like you, felt that it wasn’t worth $80/month enrollment to sing the abcs, and tap rhythm sticks. I agree, I could do that for free. As a private piano instructor I was disappointed that “music class” didn’t teach much music, just abcs, 123s etc. I really wanted musical abcs and 123s not generic songs and activities I could find on pinterest and youtube. I went on to create my dream curriculum that is fun, power packed with content, optional for parents to be involved in and a way to own a music class at home! I’d love to share an Adventure Case preschool music kit with you and see what you think! Let me know if you’d be interested!
https://www.facebook.com/PianoPreschool/posts/435702496626313
I work as a English language teacher in a Beijing kindergarten where all the infants are Chinese and are learning English as a second language. Kindermusic is our main resource that we are expected to follow. Obviously we can’t keep to it because the kids won’t understand any of what is going on. there is no suitable target language or suggested teaching methodology (such as how to present language, drilling techniques and games) for the students to aquire language. The songs are too difficult. Kindermusic may have merits for children who natively speak English but it should not be marketed for TEFL purposes. But we are stuck with this unsuitable prtogramme because the kindergarten spent a lot of money on it. I think they need a refund and should supply us teachers with something we can use.
While the program may not be *perfect* I strongly believe in it and have seen the benefits first hand. My daughter is an only child and we attend Kindermusik on
Saturday mornings with a rather large class. The Sing and Play curriculum tries to encompass a wide age range (newborn-24 months) and could truly be broken into two groups. I think this is why some of the older ones tend to get up and move around, because let’s face it: at that age (around 18 months or so) they are just go, go, go. It’s hard to sit a long time in a class like that. DD enjoys the instrument play and the exploration time with different props and visuals. I really like how our program reaches out to all different types of learners: aural, visual, and kinesthetic. They get to hear something, see something, and experience first hand with props. I do believe, just like with any activity, that you only get out of it what you put into it. If you would focus on your child, and not the parents around you I am sure that things may have played out a little different. How would you like to be judged like that? Not everyone is that closed minded. I have made some wonderful friends through this experience and DD gets the chance to interact socially with other children in her age bracket. Maybe the teacher wasn’t right for you. Or maybe the class didn’t have the opportunity to build community yet. It sounds to me that you may have been a little intimidated by the other parents and felt a little overwhelmed with all the activity going on. Anyways, I hope for your child’s sake you find some sort of enriching activity for your daughter, because it’s honestly what she likes to do that is important- not someone else’s highlights or singing voice you should be worrying about.
I also have had bad experience with Kindermusik -my twins have attended and one of my girls spent most. Of the time running around. I have persevered however came to the realisation that one hated it and the other was not highly engaged. Upon reflection I think it was the teacher. She did not motivate or communicate about the home activities and how they related to the programme and did not advance the children at the appropriate time. In fact I think we might have been just a source of income to her. I think may be I should have moved to another teacher. Also I am not sure the classes were conducted with the age of the children in mind because my daughter showed all the signs of sensory overload which she does not display in other activities e.g. Ballet or playgroup.
My son loved Kindermusik. He attended every week from birth to age six. Once he finished the program the first thing he asked was when he could start piano lessons. He learned how to read music and to love every type of instrument. He can hold a rhythm and loves to sing. I agree this class isn’t for every parent but I do strongly feel it is for every child. Boring to us, great to them. I suggest trying it and sucking up your own feeling and actually noticing the benefits and fun your child sees in it.
Hello! I just came across your post as I was trying to get some info about Kindermusik. Thinking about signing my child up for it. While you haven’t completely talked me out of joining, I must say, your post is hilarious and I would love to see more honest parent humor like this in my daily reading! I am shocked to see how offended people are by your thoughts. Like you said, it’s a thing you hate, that you’re supposed to love. Which is a really interesting topic for parents to discuss! If we really think about it, society has us believing we are supposed to love and cherish so many certain moments of our childs life, but the unspoken truth is, there ARE some things we just don’t love, even though we’re supposed to! Doesn’t make us love our child any less, doesn’t make us bad parents. Anyway, if I do sign up, I’m glad to have read your thoughts on the experience. I will be more prepared going in.
SHM
Great discussion everyone. I have to say I get some mums coming along to my non-franchised Ukulele Baby Music sessions here in Sydney Australia saying that their kids also hated going to Kindermusik. The mums said Kindermusik was just a big old money spinner.
As a fun loving ukulele and singing performer and music coach for all ages (newborn to 90) I like to firstly make sure the music activities for any age are about fun and play. Isn’t that what we want in music? To have a good time? To sing and dance?
If anyone has any feedback for what activities they’d love to see in early childhood music and movement classes please email me your ideas. I love learning from the kids and their parents and build these into my sessions.
@Zelda Sheldon, This makes me happy!
My statement specifically came from the sentence in your third paragraph, quoting – “I actually disliked all those mommy and me type classes.”
I’m sure you’re a fabulous mother and we’re all entitled our own opinions. I think what is hurtful is to name a specific brand in your blog. It sounds as though you didn’t like any mom/toddler activities, so why not leave it at that? Often times too, our experiences are based on the kind of teacher and how the class is being taught. Obviously your experience wasn’t a good one, but to knock Kindermusik altogether? There are so many fabulous and amazing early learning educators, who put their heart and soul in what they do. It’s not a money-grab…it’s individuals making a living doing something they love to do and believe strongly in. And this program and others like it, is not about parents who don’t already know how to “play” with their children, it’s about parents who want to show their children more.
@Orly Tennant, I don’t know… I loved Gymboree because the curriculum wasn’t completely boring. I loved swim lessons with my kid– much the same. I even took music classes with my toddler at a local college and LOVED that too. Really, I just think the Kindermusik curriculum leaves a lot to be desired.
I am not making this judgment based on nothing… I am an educator, I tried several different types of classes– I just wasn’t impressed with the KM curricula at all. Granted, we only tried two different teachers, but they both seemed to be working out of pretty much the same sort of lesson plans.
@Jamie Harrington, what was it about the music classes at the college that you liked? I would LOVE some insight, would help me out. Thanks.
You’re probably also the type of mother who thinks CIO works, formula is just as good as breast milk ( you’re kid was formula fed and healthy A’s a horse, righto?). Lemme guess, attachment parenting is lame, kids are resilient anyway, right again?
I think the point might well be taken but the class isn’t about you, it’s about a child. All children universally thrive on repetition and predictability. A child work is to mimic adult duties- self care, cooking, cleaning and social interaction. I’m sure you do a fine job allowing your child to mimic your social interaction alone, instead of in a group setting.
The beauty of a child is that they don’t let themselves get in the way of enjoying the moment. They don’t feel stupid singing silly songs, so why do you? I think you are a minority in using the class time to judge others. Sorry but whether I missed my six week root touch up, the father next to me can’t carry a note or the fact that the children are on different levels, never enters my mind. People of class talk about ideas and activities NOT about other people.
A walk in the rain, a walk across the city up 3 flights of stairs is actually an appealing part of taking my child to his class. Exposing him to child and adults outside of my homogenous group of family- friends is priceless. The class is rhythmic and stimulating- both mentally and physically. Maybe it is out teacher who makes the difference.
If you had compelling issues that had any basis in reality, I doubt I would feel so compelled to be so critical of you. I hope for your childs sake that you put more thought into your future decisions. I suspect you aren’t alone in your narrow minded assessment and that is what frightens me about the future of our children the most.
@Mel, You’re exactly the kind of mother that made me hate every second of Kindermusik.
*Shudders*
I think it’s more just a matter of me not relying on something as ridiculously lame as Kindermusik to make sure my kid left the house or found playmates and peers who weren’t in my “homogenous group of family-friends.”
I can guarantee you that you couldn’t be more wrong about what kind of parent I am. You can look on the complete other end of that spectrum to find me. Honestly, i think this is why I was so surprised to find something so highly thought of in our world to be so boring.
Just because I hated Kindermusik doesn’t make me a bad mom. But, for the record, being judgmental of people you don’t know based on a post you read from their blog sort of kind of does.
@Jamie Harrington, You crack me up and I’m totally with you on all that you’ve said – and guess what? I am a Kindermusik educator!! I think the curricula is boring and a little lame, which is why I drive it up some notches…because when I followed it, I felt the SAME way you did.
Anyway, kindermusik or not, your sentiments are well taken:) And Mel – you are kind of scary.
Jamie, I’m so sorry that YOU had a bad experience, but I’m sure that not all the kids in the room hated it, and probably none of them hated it. Children need repetition and a gentle structure to learn. Kindermusik is not rigidly structured and has been THOROUGHLY researched and thoughtfully written. Yes, I have my bias too, as I am a Kindermusik instructor. I am also a professional musician who thought “why should I put my child in a music class? I can do all this myself at home.” However, I forgot that what I really enjoy about being a musician (and I am a violinist in an orchestra)is the human and social joy of making music with other people. Forget about the other parents! It’s about the children!
I was thinking that in the world of blogging we can say whatever we want and tend to think however we see life – it’s okay. I’m sorry for your discomfort in the music classroom, but really – it’s not so much about you – it’s all about your little one. Whether you liked it or not, I know she did. We are all profoundly musical – it’s a scientific fact. It’s what gives you the ability to walk to a steady beat or brush your teeth to a steady beat without even thinking about it! You may not enjoy clapping sandblocks together or shaking bell jingles but it’s a wonderful world to a 2 year old! And, far better than sending her to a mother’s day out or sitting her in front of the tv for an afternoon. You did far more for her in those hated hours at Kindermusik than you could ever begin to know. And, good for you.
@bbach2, I wish I could agree with you, but I just can’t. I did more music wise singing with her at home, playing instruments there– not at Kinndermusik. Those kids hated it. All they wanted to do was run around the big open room we were in– those kids did not enjoy that time.
I think what the people who are amazed by your comments are simply trying to tell you even though this was written almost 5 years ago that there are more courteous and proper ways to critique something that you did not enjoy. I just wish that you would look at all of the advice you are getting about looking deep within self to find the root of why you feel the way you feel about Kindermusik. My parents always told me that you treat others the way you want to be treated.
I see they have descended. I don’t think I could do a class like that, cost for one thing. If I am spending that much, he is going to MDO. Cause this mama needs her time too.
As a Kindermusik parent, I highly beg to differ. My daughter thrives in the Kindermusik classroom.
You only get out of it what you are willing to put into it.
WE LOVE KINDERMUSIK!!
YOUR attitude & willingness to participate and be silly and ENJOY your child affects how much your child will benefit & enjoy activities like this. I also wonder if maybe your teacher was teaching the class improperly, as Kindermusik (just like most activities for young children) isn’t about being structured, its ALL about creativity and NON-performance-based fun. I get that this post is supposed to be taken lightly, but I thought it might be helpful to show the other point of view for those who come across this blog. I would hate for the amount of research and time that has gone into creating Kindermusik curriculum to make it into a very beneficial and educational program (if you let it be!) to go to waste if someone read this and assumed your experience was a common one. 🙂
Of course, you’re entitled to feel how you will about it, but it sounds like you entered the environment with the wrong attitude and your poor child never had a chance to enjoy & benefit from it because of that. Yes, it’s a parent/child class, but it’s for your child’s benefit. I think you both would’ve gotten more out of it had you researched the program a bit more and understood what it was really all about before signing up.
@E Keane, heh– no I researched, I knew what it was about. I just know that it was boring as hell. You’d think they could make it a bit more fun, but nope. It was crazy boring, and I get that they’ve worked with top developmentalists to structure the program a certain way and all that. I went in with an extremely open mind, and I had high hopes… but nope, it was just a plain music class with a bland teacher. What can I say?
I hope people see this, real moms that enjoy playing with their children and don’t need to be taught the proper way. Kindermusik is a waste of money–I hate that it plays on parent’s insecurities that they need someone to show them how to teach music to a child.
It’s an unimpressive program at best with half-wit curriculum based on bunk findings. I can sing about a ball going ’round on my own time– and for much less money.
@Jamie Harrington, I can tell you feel strongly about this. And I will own right up front that I am a Kindermusik teacher, so I have my own bias about it just as you have yours. However, I will tell you honestly that I thought kindermusik was boring, too, before I was asked to teach it by my boss. I slowed down and took a moment to realize that it’s not about what *I* like. It’s not about what *I* know. For every parent out there like you, who already knows how to play and make music with their child, there are dozens who don’t. If you were a teacher, you know that there are more unplugged parents than there are plugged in ones. Kindermusik is not just about playing with your kid. Kindermusik is about allowing the kids to learn at their own, developmentally appropriate speed. Sometimes the things that your child enjoys are not going to be things that you enjoy, and that is part of the sacrifice that good parents make. I am proud of you for making that choice to try Kindermusik even though you did the research and suspected it would not be something that would meet your needs. However, to call it an “unimpressive program at best with half-wit curriculum based on bunk findings” does an injustice to the program and to the parents who need it to teach them more about finding joy in their parenting through everyday “boring” moments like I see in my classes EVERY WEEK. It may not be for everyone, but it’s unfair to use hyperbole to make it sound like there’s no merit in it. If paying for Kindermusik helps a parent to connect, play, and bond with their child, or teaches them about how to encourage developmentally appropriate play instead of plugging into a TV or video game, it’s well worth the cost.
I’m just like you. I prefer to let my kid just play on his own instead of the structured play time. If he chooses to play with the music instruments, great. If not, great. He’s happier that way.
@Jen Stayrook, yeah… and if he builds a MEGA INSTRUMENT out of all the little instruments… all the better 🙂
I didn’t enjoy Kindermusik either, and I am also a teacher. Basically what that means is, it wasn’t created for parents like us. The ones who already know how to play with our kids. The ones who probably are more in need of a BREAK from our kids than a chance to interact with them. 😀
Um, I don’t enjoy reading to my kids. *hides* I teach preschool. I do it ALL FREAKIN DAY. At night, I just want to sit on my couch and forget all children exist–including my own. Sorry. (This is probably more pronounced right now, since my hubs is out of town, and everything is on me.) lol
@Larissa, I completely agree… I already KNEW how to play, I would rather someone else do the playing for an hour while I just sit and watch!
For me, it was TEACHING her reading… she was NOT cool with me doing the teaching, and I finally gave up and let her teacher do it. She just did NOT want me in charge of that!
We did Gymboree. And I always felt like I was being judged b/c my child wanted to PLAY on all the equipment instead of sit in the circle and sing.
@Shell, haha yes! Like, they would pull out those instruments, and they would just sit there untouched… even I wanted to play!
Just don’t mind the other parents. They too would think and feel the same way. I bet. How many hours a day do you spend with your kid in this class? I love singing but hate it when I have to sing in public. Those dreadful moments, when you have to prove to your teacher and your classmates that you perfectly have the voice.
Blunt word yet so true Jamie!
-John
@John Millton, see, it doesn’t bother me at ALL to sing or make a fool out of myself– in fact, when I taught school, it was my job to lead the entire school in song when a speaker was late for an assembly or whatever.
I think what REALLY bothers me is that I was hanging out with my kid playing and having a good time ALL DAY LONG… why did I need to do it in a controlled, structured setting? Does that even make sense?
haha I LOVE this! The only reason I got through is because of this website– something like shakespearemonkey.com I wonder if it still exists…
Shakespeare. I realize that, as a guy who studies literature, especially of the English variety, I’m supposed to be in love with the guy.
I just hate him. I hate his words, I hate his rhythm, I hate his plots, I hate his name, I hate his stupid face. The only thing good about my Shakespeare class in college was that the books we were supposed to be reading were big enough that I could slip something more interesting in there and read it instead.
Also, the professor was pretty awesome, but not enough to dull my intense loathing for The Bard. I forget who said it, but he/she summed it up well: “They say Shakespeare never struck a word. Would that he had struck a thousand.”
/nerdRAEG