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You Can Get A Sexy Elf On The Shelf Costume And Why Does This Even Exist What Is Happening

Sometimes I find things on the internet so disturbing I have to look away, and other times I find things so disturbing I have to share them with you guys.

When it comes to the Elf on the Shelf, I thought that we had seen the worst of it all when we decided the Elf was some sort of Orwellian spying technique for our children, but oh no.

I’ve found something so much better.

I present to you, the sexy elf on the shelf costume.

Yup. This actually exists. You can get it here.

Where does one even wear a sexy elf on the shelf costume? Is there some sort of new kind of Christmas party where we all dress up as like Sexy Mrs. Claus and sexy Rudolph?

Oh my. Whatever you do, do not google sexy rudolph. Do NOT.

Who needs an ugly Christmas sweater party when you can go as a half naked elf on the shelf, right?

I mean, whatever puts the egg in your nog, I guess, but it just seems drafty. And nobody wants a drafty elf.

There’s basically like, a whole subculture of these costumes. Who is even buying these?

We are in the middle of the holidays here. Are there women out there rocking sexy-elf ready bodies? I am in my post-turkey pre-christmas cookies slump and won’t even be thinking about swimsuits until January.

More power to you, sexy elf on the shelf.