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A Poop Knife Actually Exists To Cut Your Giant Turds And It’s The Gift Nobody Asked For

There is an actual thing called a Poop Knife, and yes, it is for exactly what it sounds like it’s for.

There is no gentle way to say this: When your poop is so gigantic and hard that it won’t go down the toilet, you chop it up — all ninja style — like a poop ninja.

It is a hilarious gag gift for that person who has everything! Can you just imagine their face when they open this poop knife? LOL!

Amazon

I recently learned that a “poop knife” is an actual thing used in some houses. They hang it from a hook in the bathroom, and everyone uses it — all communal style — for their poop.

I can’t even. There is no way to even explain to company what the knife in the bathroom is used for!

Ridiculous gag gift for friends and family, or daily necessity? You decide.

Amazon

This poop knife is made of metal, with strong reinforced silicone covering the metal. So, it’s gentle to the touch — if that matters when you are cutting up poop.

It also has a long handle, so you don’t have to worry about dunking your hand in poop water while performing the act of slicing up those turds.

This will cut poop! Tested on the most ferocious of bog crocodiles without a fight. Curious about what an Original Poop Knife feels like? Imagine a heavy silicone covered butter knife.

Amazon

It comes in “hilarious packaging,” so it’s all ready to give to that Secret Santa on your list this holiday season.

By the way, just in case you are wondering, this poop knife is dishwasher safe. But please, just for me, please don’t wash your poop knife in the dishwasher!

Amazon

The questions on this poop knife are hilarious.

Can you use this as a butter knife? Answer: Of course! People are icing cakes with it, people are spreading butter with it, people are slicing butt butter with it. Your imagination is the limit!

Davison Supply LLC via Amazon

Does it come with a holster or scabbard? Just asking, you never know when you might need it while visiting a friend’s. Answer: No. But you can modify a ziplock bag for easy transport!

Joseph LaPerna via Amazon

Does the silicone hold a smell after a few uses? I’ve heard of this problem with other silicone poop knives. Answer: As with all good poop related products, it smells like roses

David Williamson via Amazon

You can decide whether you want this Poop Knife to be a gag gift or the real deal by going to the Amazon website.

This turd slicer is going to set you back a mere $14.95, so it’s PERFECT to give as that Secret Santa gag gift.

But please, keep it AWAY from the dishwasher!!