At the time of writing this I’ve been engaged (that’s such a weird word to use in regards to…well…me) for almost five whole days. My long time boyfriend proposed on New Year’s Day.
We waited a few days to tell family and close friends. This was, essentially, to ease ourselves into the chaos that is the wedding gauntlet. There are bootcamps for this sort of thing! We needed to be prepared.
We were not.
Telling even close family and friends was… Well. It was a mistake. Yes, you read that right, a mistake. As in, I sort of wish we’d told no one. Not a single soul, until we were ready to send out invites.
I Finally Understand Why Celebrities Have Secret Weddings
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love that my close family and friends are ecstatic about our upcoming nuptials as we are, but holy cheezeballs! The ring hasn’t been delivered yet, the reality hasn’t set in, and people are already asking about colors. Gift registries. Where to mark their food allergies so we know what to feed them.
I’d really like to just…rewind it all.
I feel like we’re going from the joy of finally being ready to take this step to somehow being the clowns in the center ring of a circus. There is no breathing room, no joyous stepping into the future. Just balls to the wall crazy. Like, we’re missing this step of stretching, taking a deep breath and just enjoying ourselves. Where has that gone? Why does everyone assume I’m knocked up? Has breathing room ever been a thing? I feel like it should be a thing!
Through this all I’ve learned a couple important things:
- My fiance loves me
- My family has apparently been waiting for this to hurry up and happen
- His family might like me better than him
- We are surrounded by people who love us
I’m already getting the inkling of a feeling that I’m going to have to put my foot down about this marriage business and set some boundaries. Because right now, what I really want, is to enjoy this phase. Ideally we’re only going to do it once, so seriously, no need for rushing things. I feel like I shouldn’t be the one telling other people this sort of thing, it should be the other way around. But it’s not, so here we are.
My goals for us include:
- Taking time to smell the roses, so to speak
- Figure out what’s important to us
- Focus on the fun things
- Enjoy this time together
So here’s to the joyous, crazy future… Also, I’m GETTING MARRIED! But shhh…don’ tell…