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The Competitive World of Mommyhood

I’m a mom.

A pretty good one, at that. My daughter dresses like a diva, most of the time her face is clean, she says please and thank you, and doesn’t fall to the ground in super tantrums in the middle of Target.

But, for some people this isn’t enough.

Now, I am not talking about the actual children and how smart, talented, beautiful they are…. I am talking about the actual task of momming.

The Competitive World of Mommyhood

When I first started attending play groups and hanging with other preschool-children-having women, I’ll admit I got wrapped up in the game.

Whose kid will have the healthiest snack?

Which kid has the most educational toys?

Who makes the best halloween costume?

Now, if you don’t believe me that these little “mom contests” exist, well, that’s because you never met gingham checked picnic basket mom.

the competitive world of mommyhood

I met gingham basket one day when I took my daughter to run in the fountains next to my house. I arrived with my kid, some water shoes, and swimsuit.

I did forgot a towel, and had to dry her off with napkins from the nearby Mexican restaurant, but whatever. That’s just how it goes sometimes.

My kid was making friends, running through the water and generally having a great time.

Toddler playing with small fountains on the urban plaza.

I was feeling pretty good about myself as a mom. Checking off all the boxes, if you will.

And that’s when Gingham Basket showed up.

Look, you already know what kind of mom I am talking about.

She was wearing freshly ironed, khaki capris (I don’t even know where my iron is), a white button up shirt (WTF I haven’t bought anything white since I got boobs in the sixth grade and they turned into my own personal food shelf) and sporty canvas tennis shoes (I was of course, wearing flip flops…this is Texas and it’s 119 degrees out here).

Ugh, I instantly hate this woman.

I smile and watch her pull out home made granola (In my mind, though she just opened up some Quaker Granola bars and broke them up into her little snack packs) from her picnic basket. Her children munch on their fancy snack, and I offer my kid some of my frappuccino. (What? It didn’t have any caffeine in it.)

mom competition

Then she whips out homemade bubble wands complete with cookie trays and organic bubble solution. (She told us it was organic. I am not even sure what that means, but she made a big thing out of it.)

That’s the very second I realized that I was out. I can’t compete with that, and more to the point–I just won’t. I am just going to be the best damn mom I can be. And that’s when I realized I was hating her for all the wrong reasons.

She did nothing wrong. All she did was show up to the fountains, do her very best, and instead of hating her for that I should be celebrating her. Heck, my kid now has bubbles to play with, doesn’t she?

So next time you hate her, next time you are mad at that other mom for doing her best, instead give her a thumbs up. She worked hard on that stuff, and a thumbs up just might be the only praise she gets all day.

Kater

Wednesday 13th of January 2010

I am not that mom. I dyed my kids' hair pink and let them wear the same outfit for a week in a row.

I'm going to Dallas this summer to visit my sister. We should meet up for coffee. (Okay, how about fries at somewhere with a play area?)

Jamie

Wednesday 13th of January 2010

@Kater, haha we SO should! I think you're my favest. (My daughter's hair is blue.)

Crystal Posey

Wednesday 13th of January 2010

Why did your blog put to "@" on that reply? And there was no reply button for me to reply back to your last reply, get all that? I don't think your blog likes me much. LOL .-= Crystal Posey´s last blog ..Devaluing Craft =-.

Rebecca

Wednesday 13th of January 2010

LMAO! I love this!

I just went to a music class with my kid and had one of these moments, but a little different since they are the type who don't yell at their kids and let them have crazy wild ratty hair and wear organic cotton yoga pants. Yeah, so, they are pretty much the moms with the picnic basket only more earthy and less groomed. I'm all about the earth and being a good mommy, but I brush my kids hair (ok not really, but it doesn't need it!) and I'm sooo not afraid to scream at him when necessary.

Sigh. If only I still lived in Dallas when we became writing buddies...we'd so being hanging out together.

@jmartinlibrary

Wednesday 13th of January 2010

Step away from the picnic basket. Stepford mom is a fembot. Back away slowly before her taser vision kicks in. .-= @jmartinlibrary´s last blog ..Scarlet Whisper’s Publishing Predictions =-.

Crystal Posey

Wednesday 13th of January 2010

@@jmartinlibrary, LOL .-= Crystal Posey´s last blog ..Devaluing Craft =-.

Crystal Posey

Wednesday 13th of January 2010

I am no Bree, and could never be. I'm a mix of Susan and Lynette. .-= Crystal Posey´s last blog ..Devaluing Craft =-.

Jamie

Wednesday 13th of January 2010

@Crystal Posey, lol sometimes I catch myself in a total Lynette moment...