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Heavy Handed Advice

5 Reasons To NOT Vaccinate Your Kids

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People shouldn’t have to vaccinate their kids. In fact, parents absolutely know what’s best for their kids in every situation, which is why you’ve never heard of a mom calling a doctor at two AM because her child has a fever.

Moms automatically know exactly what to do. They know better than anyone what their child needs or doesn’t need.

That’s why the vaccination debate is so ridiculous to me…because moms inherently know more than everyone. Which brings me to this… 5 Reasons To NOT Vaccinate Your Kids.

5 Reasons To NOT Vaccinate Your Kids #vaccinate #vaccinatedebate #vaccinations #kidsvaccinations #vaccinatekids

When a woman conceives a child, the entirety of human knowledge is written into her essence and as that child is brought forth unto this world, that knowledge flowers in her mommy brain and every decision she makes for her child is absolutely the right, and only right decision.

So who are we to judge those moms that choose NOT to vaccinate THEIR kids?

Before you get your mom panties in a knot, hear me out…

5 Reasons To NOT Vaccinate Your Kids

1. You don’t like them, anyway.

I get it. Some kids are just born a little more awful than others. So if your plan is to not vaccinate your kid in hopes that they’ll catch some horrible virus that’ll off them so you can start over, sure. That makes total sense.

It’s evil, and disgusting, and I hope you get a million fire ant bites, but hey, the good news is that’s less likely to happen to you than your child catching something deadly because you’re an inherent dumb-dumb.

5 Reasons To NOT Vaccinate Your Kids #vaccinate #vaccinatedebate #vaccinations #kidsvaccinations #vaccinatekids

2. You’re more scared of big scientific sounding words than you are of viruses that have killed millions upon millions of people.

I get it! Vaccines have a lot of big, scary words. And, some of the ingredients in vaccines have been linked to carcinogenic risks and I bet even a very eensy teensy tiny portion of the population might be allergic to some of the ingredients and they might have a bad reaction.

Know what? That’s why the doctor keeps you at the office for 15 minutes after your child receives a vaccine. That way if they react, the doctor can fix it. Nifty set up, huh?

As for the scary words, know what other scientific word kills people? Dihydrogen monoxide. And yet you still put it into your body every single day. So put away your dictionary, and stop freaking out over words that you maybe don’t understand.

5 Reasons To NOT Vaccinate Your Kids #vaccinate #vaccinatedebate #vaccinations #kidsvaccinations #vaccinatekids

3. You believe all internet memes are true.

“Gandhi was against vaccines. A mother flipping meme told me so.” Yeah, I’ve seen that meme. And I’ve looked it up. And you know what he compared vaccines to? Eating beef.

Vaccines are as bad as eating beef because cows and all life is sacred. So here’s where that comes from: the small pox vaccine was derived from cows infected with cow pox. Which means that every person who received a small pox vaccine was being given a small amount of cow.

I can definitely understand why a man whose religion holds cows as sacred would be against being injected with one. But unless you, too, are a fruitarian (which he was), perhaps you should put down your Big Mac and go get your kids their freakin’ vaccines.

4. You’d rather your children build their immunity to things like polio and measles naturally…just like you did.

Oh, wait. You didn’t have polio did you. Know why? ‘CAUSE YOUR PARENTS GOT YOU VACCINATED!

5. You know more about vaccines from that one article you read online than your pediatrician knows after eight years of higher education and thousands of hours of study.

I’ll just let the people in this video address that one…

Look, I understand that I don’t live in your house, I’ve not experienced your life and I certainly can’t judge you for your parenting choices. But I’m going to anyway.

Not getting your children vaccinated is really stupid. Like, it’s really stupid.

It makes me furious and makes the blood in my veins boil with hatred toward you for putting your children in such a vulnerable and dangerous position. And if it just affected YOUR children, I might even be able to hold back my vitriol; but, it doesn’t.

Your infected child can infect a child who is too young to be vaccinated. Your child can infect a child who is fighting cancer, or whose immunity has been compromised by something else entirely out of their control.

YOUR child can act as a walking time bomb and spread illnesses that haven’t been around for years all because the idea of giving them a medically sound shot scares you.

Your child deserves better. Get your kids vaccinated. Don’t be that parent that we all hate.

Jamie’s Note: To those parents who can’t vaccinate because their child is immunocompromised, or allergic, etc. this obviously isn’t directed at you. In fact, you should be the most pissed off at the people who don’t vaccinate their perfectly healthy children– because that is how your children stay safe!

5 Reasons To NOT Vaccinate Your Kids #vaccinate #vaccinatedebate #vaccinations #kidsvaccinations #vaccinatekids

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    About Mary

    Mary Malcolm is an author, blogger, and overall swell gal. She's got enough snark to fill a football stadium, but that's probably just because she's out of coffee again. Have something that's pushing your buttons? Send Mary a message and maybe she'll write about it on the site!

    Comments

    1. Kim says

      What she said is not rude. If you don’t agree with her fine you don’t have too. However, don’t get your panties in a wad! What I am tired of is everyone being offended and needing therapy when either not everyone agrees with you or you do not get your way. Hey it is going to happen big deal. DEAL WITH IT! This is why we have Freedom of Speech!

      Reply
    2. Jillian says

      Fuck you and vaccinate your god damn nasty ass kids!

      Reply
    3. SUSAN says

      This is complete ignorance. And mean. So much research available that you haven’t bothered to do. Anyone on the non-vaxxer side (really, most are ex-vaxxers; for example, they vaxxed their first child, that child had a reaction, and then they did research and learned more and chose differently.) …anyway, the ex-vaxxers understand the arguments and position of the pro-vaxxers. But the pro-vaxxers don’t bother to try to look further than one line repeated on the news: “Vaccines are safe and effective…” Of course they say that, the media corporations are something like 70% funded by Pharma ads. Journalists who have gone off-script on this, have faced consequences and come under fire, like Katie Couric, etc. If you want to hold an opinion, hold an opinion. But calling others “stupid”, when you have no facts or statistics is weak.

      Reply
      • Bill says

        Fuck off SUSAN

        Reply
    4. SUSAN says

      Wow, the author’s mean-spiritedness trumps the complete lack of knowledge on the subject. Let’s wish this person love—to hopefully try to dissolve some of the hatred. 🙁 The vaccine court has paid out more than 3.7 billion dollars since its inception, for proven vaccine injuries and deaths—1986, when immunity was granted to the manufacturers and medical personnel that they can’t be held liable—the awards are paid out of a tax from each vaccine sold.Looking this information up could help someone make a decision that could save a life. Stay safe, people. Rule of thumb: mean-spirited ‘advice’ is probably never a good idea to listen to. Truth and love are synonymous.

      Reply
    5. Allie says

      Wow! You’re incredibly rude and misinformed. #wedid

      Reply
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