I am the queen of negative self talk. I can find things about myself and talk myself into a feeling of self pity in less than two seconds. I could list a plethora of things I say to myself all the time, but I’m going to stick to five of the main ones. Here are 5 things I say to myself all the time (and what I’m going to start saying instead).
5 Things I Say To Myself All The Time (And What I’m Going To Start Saying Instead)
1. “Droopy Dog” – One of my many self negative talks involves my overly-exaggerated smile lines. They are there whether I’m smiling or not. I see myself as Droopy Dog in the cartoons. I find myself saying, “Hey Droopy Dog, gonna be one of those days huh?”
Instead of focusing on those lines, I’m going to tell myself; I have those smile lines because I’ve smiled a lot in my life. I’ve seen joy and happiness and those lines are a testament to all those times.
2. “Spotty McSpot Face” – Also when I see my face in the mirror my eyes are drawn to the acne craters and scarring (thank God for Photoshop) They were my own fault from picking when I was younger and now, they will be there forever. I’m jealous of those perfect skinned girls, you know the ones who don’t cringe when their boyfriend caresses their face. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve called myself crater face.
But, instead of doing that, I’m going to focus on what they cant see, I’m going to tell myself that; “my heart is beautiful, kind compassionate and the people that take the time to get to know me wouldn’t see my acne scarred face, instead they’ll me as I am on the inside. and that’s where true beauty lies. Plus, I have great hair, that’s a plus.
3. “Do Nothin’ Nancy” – My husband works insane hours and I’m a SAHM. I find myself saying to him, “Well, you deserve it, you’re the one who works all the time.” While he always has an argument about how I work also, I have a hard time accepting it.
Instead of diminishing what I do accomplish here at home, I’m going to appreciate all my hard work: housework, laundry, pay bills, write, cook, blog, run our daughter to the Doctor and school, grocery shopping, take care of animals, vet visits…Instead of focusing on the fact that I don’t work as many hours as my husband, or get paid monetarily to do it, I’m going to reaffirm my hard work with a hardy, “You kicked ass today. I worked hard and got a lot done!” I earned the remote tonight…(Purely a joke)
4. “Van Gogh Syndrome” – I tell myself all the time how HORRIBLE my writing/art is. “Damn, if I still drank, people would probably think I’m drunk…this is awful.” The problem with this specific thinking is I stop writing or painting for awhile, until I’m just driven to.
Rather than quitting, I’m going to tell myself, “Some people like it. People read it. I’ve helped people by my writing and artwork and that alone makes it worth it. I can’t quit, it would be a waste of my self-happiness and the possibility of making someone else happy as well. So, I’ll continue doing what makes me happy…because the happy moments are more than those self doubt moments.
5. “Ms. Good For Nothin” – This last one is one that I have said too many times in my life: “I’m not good enough.” I know I’m not the only one who has said it.
Realistically it’s simply untrue. We are all one of a kind and we are ALL good enough. No one can replace us. No one. In the moments I catch myself saying it, I loudly call bullshit, of course I am. “No one can do me, like I can do me.” That goes for every man, woman and child.
If you find yourself in self-negative talk, switch it with something positive. Don’t let those negative thoughts diminish all the good in you. Flaws are but a part of life, no one is without them. If you are unable to looked past others, take the time to look past your own.