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This is for all those parents out there that let their children run all willy nilly at the playground. If your child has ever made more than three kids at the local play area cry, I’m talking to you.
Now for the rules…
Now, look–I understand if your kid is abnormally tall. Hell, my four year old sometimes gets mistaken for a seven year old. That’s cool, but come on, if your kid is an entire head ABOVE the recommended height, then they shouldn’t be there. What I really don’t get though, is why your twelve year old WANTS to play on something that was designed for a six year old. Maybe you should have that checked out.
The play area is for everyone to use. So, if your kid is blocking access to the slide or the bouncy thing–tell them to move. It’s super crappy when my kid has to try to tell a kid twice her size (see above rule to prevent this from happening) to move out of her way. Why is it my responsibility to make sure all the children have equal access to the playground toys? Teach your kid to share, that’s like parenting 101. If you can’t master that, then maybe you should take a class or something.
Food Stays at The Table
I can’t actually believe I have to say this, but why on this earth are you letting your kid take his happy meal on the playground? Are you kidding me with that? Not only is he now eating where other kids have been sticking their dirty feet all day long (which I have to explain to my kid when she doesn’t understand why she can’t take her nuggets up there), but dude–that’s a choking disaster waiting to happen, and if you think I am going to climb up that slide and give your child the heimlich. Think again buddy.
Really, all the problems above could pretty much be solved if you would just come into the damn play area and watch your kid. I know it’s loud. I know it smells like kid sweat. Really, I get it–you need time to yourself, and you’re willing to just about anything to have it. But, here’s the deal–pay a babysitter. You obviously don’t care about your kid’s well-being… so you don’t even need to find a good sitter–and I’m betting he/she will even watch your kids at the playground for you.
So on behalf of PWAGACATK (Parents Who Actually Give a Crap About Their Kids) everywhere, I beg you, PLEASE get some damn playground manners.