Can You Relate To These Pet Peeves?

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I’m normal, I swear. I may have a couple idiosyncrasies that some might consider strange, some aversions that might make people stare, but I find them absolutely legit and reasonable. Let’s see if you can relate.

I’m sure, once I explain my stance on things, everyone will think I’m as normal as coffee in the mornings.

MOUTH NOISES – Even thinking about this makes me cringe a little. Whether it’s my husband chewing, my kids blowing bubbles, or my dog licking her lady bits, I can’t take it! I literally have to leave the room, or I will scream, have a panic attack, or maybe both.

STOPPING THE GAS PUMP ON AN ODD MONEY AMOUNT – By odd, I don’t necessarily mean a legitimately odd number. I should clarify things by saying, odd to me. The gas pump has to stop on a number that ends in zero or five. If not, I have to keep the pump going until I hit the jackpot numbers. You don’t want me to be around if you let the pump stop at $15.99. God help us all. The world will end.

VOLUME STOPPED ON AN ODD NUMBER – Yes, the same thing goes for volume. It doesn’t matter if it’s the TV, the radio, or the phone, the volume has to be on a number that ends in zero or five. My husband tried to stop the TV volume on 18 the other night. We almost got divorced.

COVERS TUCKED IN AT THE BOTTOM OF BED – Okay, I can’t be the only one who can’t stand the sheet untucked and bunched around my feet. I can’t even talk more on this topic. It’s giving me anxiety just thinking about it.

PILLOWS ON THE COUCH – We buy throw pillows for the couch. Why are they always on the floor? I’m pretty sure my kids throw them on the floor just to see my head explode. Throw pillows go on the couch.

FAN BLOWING ON ME AT NIGHT – I don’t know that this is really too bizarre. It started when I was pregnant, and it stuck. I have to have a fan blowing on me while I sleep. I don’t mean a ceiling fan. Not good enough. I have to have a plug in, oscillating fan blowing directly on me. Then, I get completely under my covers, because I don’t want to be cold.

PHONE CALLS – Don’t call me on the phone. Anybody who knows me, knows I can’t stand to talk on the phone. That’s what texting is for, people. I won’t pick up the phone if you call. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you. Just text!

HAVE TO HAVE SOCKS ON CORRECTLY – Oh my gosh. There is a specific way socks are supposed to go. There is a heel sewn in on purpose, and that raised seam is there to go precisely and evenly across your toes. Don’t walk across my front room in your socks with them on sideways. You might not make it to your destination.

SWEEPING OR CLEANING LIKE A SLOTH THAT HAS LOST ALL MUSCLE TONE – Ugh! Is there anything worse than somebody (my daughter) sweeping the floor at a snail’s pace and just lackadaisical batting at the bits that need to be swept? Clean with a purpose. With a purpose!

See, I’m not crazy. These are all normal things that drive everyone insane. Right?

Now excuse me, while I go check the front room for the throw pillows that are inevitably on the floor.

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