I’m not a Star Wars expert or anything, but like, I’ve watched the movies a few times, I once dated a guy with a star wars tattoo, and I know enough to know Jabba the Hut was cool but Jar Jar Binks wasn’t.
So, I decided to watch the new Disney+ streaming show, the Mandalorian and here’s my recap of the first episode.
There are spoilers below, obviously, so if you haven’t watched it yet, then turn back now, you will.
It starts out pretty Star Wars-tastic. In one of those space bars with people drinking out of big mugs and such, only this is like, in the middle of the day on a Tuesday because the place is pretty empty.
You know, the usual, one guy holding another guy down. And then this guy walks in.
Instant tough guy. He’s rocking a helmet, someone calls him a Mando. you know things are about to go down.
Tough guy takes out a few of the guys and like… we instantly know this guy means business. I am all sorts of impressed. He grabs the blue fish guy and they head off.
We are doing this thing. So now blue guy is helmet’s passenger.
They hop in a speedster with a dude I can only assume is Randy Quaid, or like… Quaid’s red brother.
He’s super helpful and awesome, which means he’s probably about to get eaten.
Yup. Called it. Five minutes into this show and it is action packed, my friend.
They escape from that thing that ate Red Randy Quaid and zoom off the planet.
There’s some ship stuff, where the blue guy tries to get Helmet to take his money in order not to turn him in for whatever it is he’s bring brought in for, but he’s not having it.
This tells us that Helmet isn’t in it for the money. He’s doing it for the ‘gram. Er, I mean honor. Whatever he’s doing is for the honor.
Then we find out he’s got like, a whole pile of people encased in carbonite. And if we know anything we know that people getting encased in carbonite is a whole thing.
He turns blue fish guy into a stepping stone, and then it’s time for another bar.
Man, people love drinking in Star Wars times.
They go back and forth about money, and say that the Empirical credits won’t spend anymore because the Empire is gone.
This is supposed to give me some sort of timeline about where we are in the Star Wars world, but really it just makes me thing of the Empire strikes back. Who knows when this is, or what side he’s on.
But if there’s anything I know about in Star Wars it’s that good guys and bad guys exist on both sides because nobody really knows what side is the good side.
They go back and forth and do some world building stuff about being a bounty hunter. We basically learn that he’s about to take on some sort of BIG job that’s so important it doesn’t really follow the normal protocols.
Helmet guy goes in– we see Storm troopers.
Also, we meet this young guy, Dr. Parsnip I guess?
They do a little gun standoff thing for a while, Helmet further establishes what a rock star bounty hunter he is.
Also, he’s a Mandolorian they say. Like that’s a big deal, and since it’s the title of the show, I am assuming that it is.
And they give him some sort of fancy currency. That’s one of those things about Star Wars times. There’s like a billion different kinds of currencies and who knows what any of it is.
We find out he’s going to go a bounty hunting for someone who is 50, and he has a little tracker for him. Other than that, he doesn’t even know WHO he’s tracking.
That doesn’t stop Helmet though. He’s off to track.
He goes into some secret lair type place and there’s a bunch more people that look like him. This is like their hideout or something. Even the kids are wearing helmets. Oh, and that’s part of this, apparently they don’t take these helmets off?
He goes to his friend who is a chick and blacksmith. They have a little sexy chemistry moment, and he shows her his currency. She’s all “Oh nice currency bro.
Apparently the currency is something that belonged to their tribe before. Ands she likes it so much she’s going to make him a shoulder pad out of it.
So wait, was this currency or metal? What is happening? She does some melting and some banging with her hammer. They’re excited that the money/liquid metal will help lots of people.
And then we get flashbacks. These are supposedly flashbacks of when he was a kid.
So, helmet has like… been through some stuff. It’s rough to be the helmet.
He gets his sweet new shoulder pad. But only one because why would he want two… and he’s off again.
Okay, so now he flys off in his space ship, sporting his sweet shoulder pad, and then Helmet gets his ass handed to him by some giant tadpoles.
Say what? Helmet has been a rock star cool guy this whole time and now he gets taken out by a big froggo baby?
So this new guy, who looks like if Falcor from Neverending story could walk and talk had legs saves him, and is all, “You are a bounty hunter. I will help you.”
So now they are besties.
Ahh, okay so this guy was having a froggo fight because he needs help from Falcor.
Oh and he’s going going to learn the giant tadpole now. It’s like a whole western scene.
And now this guy also refers to him as a Mandolorian. So this is like a whole thing and it’s important.
In a change of fates that everyone saw coming, he learns how to ride the froggo.
So he and Falcor go off riding into the sunset and Falcor is like “good luck brochacho. Thanks for getting rid of the bad guys.
Oh more Mandolorian stuff. This is like, a big big deal. Should I know what this is?
He climbs, scouts some stuff, and sees that there’s an “asset” remember, that’s all we know. There’s a bounty droid that is trying to do his job and pretty much failsaucing it.
So, he’s all, “Ughhhh, droids.”
He and the droid decide to team up and get the asset. But the droid is kind of a jackass about it.
Droid does do some cool double gun terminator shooting though. So, that’s fun.
The droid decides they are trapped, and so he’s going to self destruct, because I can’t imagine this droid makes it through much, unless he makes it through everything and becomes a reluctant droid sidekick.
I mean, it is Star Wars. That’s a whole thing.
Droid keeps trying to self destruct, which really leads to the hopelessness of the situation.
More guns, more shooting. Big music. That means we are getting somewhere Star Wars style.
Helmet decides Droid isn’t so bad for a droid. It’s looking like a sidekick status!! YES!
They’re going into the cave/building because all buildings in star wars world are also caves. And they have found the “life form.”
But it’s a dang baby.
OH MY HECK. IT IS A BABY YODA.
I… I can’t even.
IS THIS A SHOW ABOUT BABY YODA?!?! I had no idea. He is the cutest thing I have ever seen. But they said he was fifty? But Yoda lives foreeeever. Okay this is like a little timey wimey. Got it.
And oh no! Sidekick Droid says he has to kill the baby Yoda. But Helmet ain’t having any of that, he shoots him without a thought.
Okay so no sidekick buddy cop show, but baby Yoda is here, So I am nine different kinds of in for this.
I have so many questions. See you next week for the Episode 2 recap of the Mandalorian.