I Tried A Diva Cup And Now I Hate Life
Okay, let me start off by saying that I love the idea of using a Diva Cup. No tampons to fuss with, no scary toxic shock syndrome, less of an environmental impact; plus you save money. But- it’s easier said than done. Gird your loins, because we’re about to get messy. This is my Diva Cup experience…
For those of you who don’t know what a Diva Cup is, it’s a silicone cup that is used to catch menstrual blood in place of a cotton tampon. It uses suction to stay in place, and when you’re ready, you remove it and pour the blood down the toilet, rinse it off, and reinsert. Seems simple, right? I got my diva cup as a gift from an environmentally conscious friend who knew I wanted to try one. I knew there was a learning curve to using a product like this, but I figured it would be worth it in the end. Well; the jury is still out on that one.
So, I’ll spare you the details of insertion, since there was nothing really noteworthy about that, other than a slightly uncomfortable feeling that went away as my body got used to it’s presence, and getting a little more personal with my lady bits than I am used to having to do. I will say I enjoy going to bed knowing that I don’t need to worry about TSS or leaking. Everything was as promised when I woke up, but removing this thing was no easy feat…
It started like this… I’m sitting on the toilet and start feeling for the stem of this thing, and I can feel it, but I cant grip it. If I can’t even grip the stem, how am I going to pinch the bottom of this thing to release the suction? So after much fishing around, I still can’t get it. Okkaaayyyyyy…so now what?
I try lifting up one leg. Still can’t get it. In my head I am already imagining a frantic call to my friend and/or boyfriend begging for help in extricating this thing from my vageen. I lean left. I lean right. Jump up and down a little. No luck.
For a few minutes I sit there, completely stumped as to what I should do. Maybe squatting would work? But isn’t having to take off your pants entirely a little bit ridiculous? Is there a YouTube tutorial for this? No wait, I don’t want to see a YouTube tutorial for this. Are my fingers ridiculously short? How many fingers should I be using? It’s not a hotel lobby in there. AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.
So, now that I’ve been in the bathroom for entirely too long- I’m finally ready to get down to business. I ditch the pants, climb into the tub, and assume the position. I’m already thinking about how I’m going to need to bleach the ever loving shit out of this tub, and start fishing around for this mother-effer.
Okay, it’s a little more accessible from this position, but still eluding me. I start calling upon every childbirth technique I know, and bearing down like my life depends on it. The Rocky song is playing in my head. In the movie of my life, this part would be a motivational and inspiring montage.
This is pretty much the grossest thing that has ever happened in this bathtub, and my kid has pooped in here several times.
I can’t believe I still haven’t gotten it out. This is ridiculous. I’ve got shit to do today. So I push. HARD. I’m not sure how many fingers I had to use to get a handle on it, but I can tell your for sure I’ll never forget what happened next.
I start slowly pulling it out, thinking that I’ll daintily pour it out and be on my way. About halfway through removing it, I knew that wasn’t going to be an option. I can feel the pressure of the opening of the cup the closer I get to having it all the way out. It’s about to be a massacre in here. I know it.
I felt it pop open as it came out there was an audible splash.
It was everywhere. On my legs. On my feet. Pretty much up to my elbows (okay, that’s probably an exaggeration.). AND there was still some in the cup. It looked like a scene straight out of Carrie. I was entirely disgusted, but also impressed with all that my uterus had done while I was sleeping. Like, good uterusing, uterus.
I spend an unladylike amount of time considering taking a picture of it, sending it to my friend with the caption “LOOK AT WHAT I HAVE DONE.” but ultimately decided not to. Instead, I rinsed out the tub, scrubbed myself clean, put the diva cup away, and sent off these two text messages instead.
The first to my friend.
and the next to my boyfriend
So, I really want to love you, Diva Cup, but I fear you and I just aren’t meant to be. I’m going to try the smaller size before I relegate myself to using tampons forever, but like, I like my tub, and blood stains grout like a bitch. Know what I’m sayin’? I hope you understand.
Sincerely,
Bitter and Bloodspattered.
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Give it two cycles, and you’ll be used to it, I promise! Remember how you had to get used to tampons in the beginning, too? (at least I did.) It’s not messy if you figure out how to pull it out without it popping open and splattering. My tips:
1) use your non-dominant hand (middle and index finger) to sort of hold yourself open.
2) Bear down, not only when you’re removing it, but also when you’re inserting it. Being relaxed is key, and bearing down helps with that.
3) Try getting a solid grip on it before removing it.
4) Position yourself so that when you remove it, it doesn’t come out horizontally and spill everywhere. For me this involves leaning forward and sticking your butt out so the angle of the cup is vertical. This way when I take it out, the contents stay in the cup and my hands stay clean.
5) Before inserting it, run it under warm water so it slides in easily and comfortably.
I change mine every 12 hours, once in the morning in the shower, and once in the evening.
I’ve never had a problem (you just need to squeeze it a bit)..but doesn’t matter there are two other options equally great that solve that problem: thinx and sea sponge tampons. I use them together
THANK YOU for writing about your diva cup experience. I laughed out loud quite a bit, which is unusual when I read anything! I was hesitant to share my experience until now, but you totally helped me overcome that. Long story short, I started my period the DAY OF my wedding despite skipping placebo week (Mother Nature didn’t give two shits about that) and didn’t want any of my bridesmaids to change my tampon for me. Hilarity ensues.
I happen to read this at my desk at work. I was laughing hysterically out loud! I then had to explain what I was laughing at. We all then had a great laugh together. Thanks for sharing. I really want to hear the smaller size update! Good luck!
I have been using the Diva Cup for years (5 years approximately?)…and I have never had a problem! Actually…there have been times when I couldn’t remember if I put it in or not and had to physically check, only to find out that yes, it was there. That’s how comfortable it is!!!! Sure, you have to get a little more intimate with yourself, but after a few uses, its simple, quick and easy to put in and take out.
No Angie, it isn’t 😀 I’ve had mine for aaages and there are still occasions where the bugger won’t flipping come out, then when it does… YIKES!
it’s sometimes a bit painful as the suction finally gives way, you try to kind of ease it out slowly because you know what’s coming next…
PING!!!
Inevitably it flicks open again when it finally pops out, not only making your bits sting (for want of a better word) but also the aftermath is like the Battle of the bloody ((haha) Somme.
Maybe it’s because I haven’t had kids but it’s no easier to remove now than it was initially. I still wouldn’t go back to tampons though.
I had an issue with the diva cup the large size I couldn’t insert it so I got the small Eva cup and had the same fears as you when taking it out but your friend is right act like you are going to poop and it pushes it down to where you can grab it
So did you get the smaller size? I’m actually really curious to know lmfao
I am new to the Diva cup. I have VERY heavy periods. It took some learning to figure out how to use it. I wanted to stop before the first period was over, but now I am glad I didn’t. I really like the cup and I am grateful I do not have to be tied down with tampons. I suggest giving it a couple of periods before you decide.
Oh god I can totally relate. Well maybe not to the Carrie moment. But I’ve reluctantly had to accept that menstrual cups and me, we’re just not meant to be.
I’m one of those environmentally conscious people. Wanted to try a menstrual cup for the longest time but was too scared and squeamish. Finally my sister convinced me to try the Lily Compact. It’s supposed to be the smallest and most flexible cup so far (I’m an extremely petite woman).
Horrible experience. Persevered over two periods but nothing got better about it. For a start, I couldn’t actually insert it unless I was lying on my back on the floor. Both insertion and removal were difficult, uncomfortable, even borderline painful. And no matter how well I thought I’d positioned it inside, despite several tries, it would always leak, ever so slightly. Even though it wasn’t actually full. I didn’t dare use it without a pantyliner.
Some of us women just aren’t made to use menstrual cups, I’m afraid 🙁
I love my Diva Cup….. it is literally the best thing that has ever happened when it comes to ‘that time of the month’
The first time was a bit annoying, I was sure that it would leak or come out, and it was too low. But to my sheer delight it did not leak, although it was too low, turns out I need to exercise my pelvic floor, but I had twins, so yeah.
The best thing is SLEEP. Never again will I spend the night pretending to have some kind of meaningful rest while I teeter on my side knowing that if I roll over there will be a huge flood of mess all over my sheets.
As for the mess factor, maybe I am lucky, I manage to get it out and pour the contents easily down the toilet with minimal problems, the most messy part for me is washing it out in the sink so its ready to put back in.
This is incredibly dramatic. I use the Eva cup, and from the very first time, it has been more comfortable, cleaner, and sooooo much less fuss than tampons. No need to scare women away from a good product just because you struggled with it and are squeamish about “getting personal with your lady bits” or however you put it.
Oh Kaleigh I see the mistake you made that caused MD to think you were so Dramatic! How Silly of you to buy the Diva Cup……you should have bought the Eva Cup like MD! Sounds like the Eva Cup has little fairies that ever so softly flutter in your Vag and gently pull out the Eva Cup never even touching your lady bits and for your convenience the little fairies swipe their tiny wands and like magic your Eva Cup is cleaned and softly reinserted by these Magical fairies! So the way I see it Kaleigh………get in that pretty new car of yours and drive to Target…..and don’t buy that Dramatic Diva Cup…no no no ….you need to buy the Magical EVA CUP and have that same wonderful experience MD has MONTHLY!!!………………….hahahahahahaha!! PAM☺
I wish that it was just awkward and messy getting it out.
As much as has been said multiple times on so many levels environmental, financial etc it makes so much sense.
Using the diva cup was the most painful thing I’ve ever done ‘voluntarily’ tried 3x ended up almost crying with pain taking pain killers and going to bed each time.
Might try again if I ever have children.
Sounds like you need a softer cup. Look up precious stars pads videos on youtube. Bree has lots of great info and comparisons. Too stiff of a cup can definitely be painful.
See a doctor!!! There are zero things about this product that should give you any pain whatsoever. I’d be concerned.
1. The size of the cup is an important factor if you’ve never had children or you are an older woman, but it should not be painful AT ALL to “wear”. In fact, I know I’ve inserted mine wrong if I have any significant discomfort… And I have Sendory Perception issues (particularly tactile perception), so with all the nerve endings that are found in that area, you can rest assured that it doesn’t take much for me to notice any uncomfortable sensation…
2. If the cup is inserted correctly, you should only feel slight pressure along the walls of the area (about the equivalent of pressing the pad of your thumb deeply into your thigh…). Any “burning”, “itching”, “scratching” or other painful sensation is out of the ordinary and you should remove it and try again.
3. The little “nub” can be trimmed slightly if it is too long for you, which can happen because let’s face it, one size fits all doesn’t actually FIT ALL… ?
And finally,
4. Though I highly recommend the Menstrual Cup to everyone, I also warn them that they will likely get up close and personal about some uncomfortable realities about what actually happens down there when the uterus decides it’s time to “redecorate” yet again… But I also say that if they really give it a go and an honest & decided try, they’ll probably find that it’s the best thing that they’ll ever do for themselves – no matter how heavy your cycle is… (FYI & TMI: my cycle is a complete flood & on my heaviest days I can easly empty my cup well over a dozen times in a 24 hour period – no pun intended… How do I know “my cup overfloweth”? The best way I can describe it is that it feels like my area down there is “blowing bubbles”… So I hurry to the washroom & do my thing & move on…)
PS: It can take a few cycles to get used to using it, figure out how to insert & remove it, and get comfortable with the process… And the more you empty it out throughout the day the easier it gets to use because well… Practice makes perfect…
Have you ever seen a pelvic floor physio?
It sounds like you may have a hypertonic (very tight and won’t relax, kind of like most of us have with our shoulders) pelvic floor. It can be a huge factor in pain with the menstrual cup…
I tried the Diva cup once…. yup, just once. My baby was about 4 months old, my period had just returned and while I was pregnant I had bought myself one and committed to using it along with cloth pads. I went to the lou while my sweet girl was sleeping and saw that I was bleeding so I inserted the cup. About 15 minutes later, I noticed that I was leaking a bit, so I went back to the toilet to try to adjust it. A few minutes later, I woke up on the floor with my pants around my ankles and my baby screaming in the next room. Immediately, I called my neighbor who is a nurse-midwife and she invited my in to her office so that she could remove it for me. Apparently, I had a vaso-vagal response to the suctioned cup on my cervix. I’ve laughed about it since, and I really wish that I could use it!
When you recover from the cup, you might want to try a sponge… but use pad backup til you learn how often you need to change, and how big a sponge you want… seriously, I used sponge for decades and it was cheap and comfortable and effective. Tiny sponges are sold for the purpose (or used to be) but it’s cheaper to just buy a big ole sea sponge and scissor it into chunks. Boil to clean now and then, and always be sure to have it moist before you try to use it (or ouch!). I found I could get a few months out of one piece. Good luck! Oh, and some folk tie a bit of dental floss to it so they can be daintier about interacting with it (like the tampon string).
I rarely comment on articles, but felt like I needed to comment on this one. The Diva cup is awesome! I’ve been using it for about 10 years… I do remember it being confusing (but not painful) to insert/remove the first couple times. But seriously, it’s worth it. Now it’s super easy and I don’t think about it at all. So much less waste, not putting bleach into your body (most tampons), etc. Don’t let this article scare you off, give it a few tries. And yes, agree with some other commenters that there’s some unnecessary vag/period shame here.
I really wish that you had given it more than one try before writing an article that will stop women from giving it a go. I understand that it wasn’t for you and I am sure that this was a fun article to write but a moon cup or diva cup can save you $500 in 10 years and will reduce the 200,000 tonnes of landfill that are Menstrual cycle waste per year. Perhaps a few more open-minded and determined journalists could write more encouraging and responsible articles that take the effect of their “funny” statements into account.
YES! Thank you! It just takes a little bit of practice and it’s such a shame people give up because it’s messy ONE TIME or slightly uncomfortable the first few times. I really hope not too many girls have seen this article and been discouraged.
Dude. It’s hard to get used to, I admit. But you just said that your menstrual blood is dirtier than shit. That is not true, and it perpetuates the myth of periods being unnatural and disgusting. They suck, yeah, and they’re messy, but cleaning up menstrual blood is definitely cleaner than cleaning up your kids poop.
I can’t stop laughing at the removal description!!!
I’m going to date myself but I have a whole comedy routine about how I was elbow deep in a public restroom stall trying to remove a TODAY sponge and knocked myself out on the door!!!
The concept of the cup is gross, but they say it was invented for women in the third world and it kinda makes sense until you realize the cultures in a lot of those third world countries teach girls that their bodies are filthy so reaching up there elbow deep to be one with their cervix is kinda iffy.
Mazel to those ladies who use this for the environment! I went into early menopause 2 years ago, so I don’t worry about it anymore.
Have you tried Soft Cups? It’s the same concept but you throw them away after your cycle. No suction so you don’t have to worry about that?
So after I was laughing my butt off, I had to explain to my husband WHY I was laughing. He grimaced. I’m just grateful that I had a hysterectomy. Thanks for sharing.
LOL! Once I got the hang of it, I couldn’t believe how much better my life would have been if only I’d had one of these a quarter-century ago. But the first time I tried to take it out I thought I was about to rip my uterus out with it. It’s a learning curve, but if you can find a cup that works for you it’s actually the least messy choice for period I’ve ever experienced. The only time I see blood is when I take it out to empty it. There’s no string to absorb urine, so it smells A LOT better too. Like a lot of people said, it’s not for everyone, just like any other feminine hygiene product. But if you’re one of the people it does work for, you’ll wonder how you ever managed to bleed from your crotch every month without it.
I tried a Me-luna cup and it was life changing for me. I LOVE it! I wished I had found it decades earlier. I love that I can sleep in it and leave it in for many hours. It’s almost like not having a period. Keep trying and try different brands. Me-luna has tons of different sizes and stem options.
You really think that menstrual blood is grosser than shit? That’s really weird.
So weird! It’s sad how many women are afraid of their bodies and ashamed of their periods. I use the Eva cup, and it has been a life changer. Absolutely love it.
Well, I have never heard of a Diva Cup. Thank you for sharing your story, it was kinda funny but that is what kept me reading. I personally will not try a Diva Cup, you are a brave woman. 🙂
Don’t let this article put you off. They are really amazing and not that hard to use. It’s almost like not having a period when you use one! Try a Me-luna. They are the most customizable.
Yes please don’t let this put you off! I used to hate having my period when I had to use tampons but now I don’t mind it at all! My four sisters and I all use various kinds of cups and love them. I use the diva cup, it just happened to be the first one I bought off amazon and I loved it, honestly the worst thing that can happen is you spend 20-30 dollars and hate it but then at least you know you tried- for the planet and for your wallet and vaginal health!
Anyone turning up their nose at the article’s author is losing sight of a fundamental fact.
Everyone’s bodies are different! What works for you is not going to work for everyone!
I use a menstrual cup. I tried a silicone one but it was the wrong size and it hurt. So I tried a different brand. This one fits, I don’t feel it at all, and I’ve never really had a problem getting it in or out.
But I have a heavy flow and it is almost always a mess to empty the cup. Not just my blood-coated fingers… it often runs down into my palm too. Blood drips down the sides of the cup. I have to be careful or it could get on my clothes or all over the bathroom.
I work from home so it’s not a big deal. But if I had to share a bathroom with strangers, I would be more than a little self-conscious about going from the stall to the sink looking like Lady Macbeth.
In favor of cups: I have noticeably less cramping with the cup than with tampons. And being able to wear the cup overnight is a godsend. I’m glad I made the switch.
But again, that’s me, and your body may differ. If a menstrual cup is painful, if it’s hard for you to wear it, if it’s too messy for you, try another cup. If you can’t find a cup you’re comfortable with, find a solution that works for you.
It’s your body and your decision and no one has any business trying to give you a hard time over what you decide.
Yes! I have 5 different cups by various manufacturers and I’m so glad I didn’t give up after trying the first and failing. I just couldn’t get the thing to pop open. I spent WAY too long trying to manage it and gave up that cycle. Went back to the internet and many precious stars pads comparison videos and realized it was too soft of a cup! Then I bought a moon cup, which was perfect for getting to open, but I have a very heavy cycle and it holds only about 10ml. So bathroom trips every 15 minutes are not ideal. I now have a yuuki cup that holds 30ml and is a similar firmness to the moon cup. I still use pads because I leak on heavy days(I measured about 8 ounces of menstrual flow each cycle. That cup fills up fast!) But it sure beats using ultra tampons that made me feel nauseous all the time and gave me all sorts of other issues. I finally after a full year of using a cup(with a pregnancy in the middle–which didn’t affect the comfort of my cup) gave away all my extra tampons! Never will I use them again! I just wish I’d discovered cups 20 years ago as a teen!