This morning I woke up and thought maybe it’s ok to forget all those things I thought about myself in middle and high school.
Forget all the perceived dismissals, write offs, mean words, and slights from so long ago. How weird is it that things said (or often times 100% made up in our heads) from well over 30 years ago can stay with us so long? It’s funny, because from the outside looking, in I think most people see what we put out there.
One of my all time favorite quotes is ‘Don’t compare your insides, to other people’s outsides.’ Nice reminder, but tricky to accomplish in this Facebook humblebrag and #blessed social media world that we all live in.
Most adults aren’t putting out there that they still feel like: girl who never got asked to the dance, the kid who flunked out of geometry, the slut, the dumb one, the poor kid, the ugly girl, the list goes on and on. I think that it’s easy to hide behind our successes in adulthood. If my brutal years in middle and high school taught me nothing, I know it taught me not to take up space and whatever you do, don’t show weakness. Easier to accomplish at 42 with a little life under my belt.
[clickToTweet tweet=”In our heads we still are ‘that girl’ desperately wanting to fit in, just praying one day we get Jordache jeans.” quote=”In our heads we still are ‘that girl’ desperately wanting to fit in, just praying one day we get Jordache jeans.” theme=”style3″]
I also know that, until we stop seeing ourselves that way and stop feeling like ‘that girl’ we were so long ago, we will not be able to rest in the victories of the present. We (and by we, I mean I) do not have to be that awkward 13 year old girl that never felt like she fit in.
I have nothing to prove to anyone.
For the most part, there is nothing wrong with exactly as I am right now as flawed as I might feel. I am 100% enough in all department and the same way I give others grace I need to take a long look in the mirror and give that face grace too.
Breaking the cycle of worthiness takes time and courage and lots of self talk and if I’m being totally honest a small bit of vodka doesn’t hurt either. (At least 2-3 times a week I feel like I’m pretty awesome.)
This I know is true: the hardest battle we (me/I) will ever face, will be the ones we have with ourselves. So all this to say, I’m thinking about loving the current me a little more.
I would also like to encourage you to let go of ‘that kid’, we love the lessons they taught us because ‘that weirdo 13 year old girl’ made us the kickass woman, mom, wife, realtor, entrepreneur, that we are today. So we thank them profusely, we regret nothing, and we let them go, because they no longer serve us. It’s ok to think about ‘that kid’ every now and then with a little smile on our face.
A smart friend of mine said that it’s not easy to let go of being ‘that girl’ but it’s always a choice.
Have you let go of being that girl?