If you are a stepparent then you can completely understand what I mean when I say that being a stepparent isn’t something everyone can accomplish successfully. To be honest, I am not sure if I can even say that I am a successful stepmom, especially when I feel like I can always be better. In the last seven years, I have grown to love my stepdaughters just as much as I love my husband and that part was a breeze for me. They are wonderful girls, each their own person, and from the first moment I met them I liked them. At this point it’s been seven years, and I can safely say that my stepdaughters are now, and completely, the daughters of my heart.
My Stepdaughters Are The Daughters Of My Heart
I had no doubt how much I wanted them to like me that first time we met because I was more nervous than getting ready for a first date. I remember freaking out because my hair wasn’t cooperating with me that day (what else is new?) and trying to tame my mane, but I finally gave up. The door bell rang right after I gave up and I swear I immediately started sweating (not the glistening sweat like in a movie).
Once I met the girls, I knew that I could see myself being a part of their lives for years to come; meaning my husband and the girls. When my husband and I were dating I knew not to add input when it came to the girls unless he directly asked my opinion. I understood that my role was NOT to be their mother, but to be a friend that would love to get to know more about them. We watched shows together, painted our nails, I did their hair (the best I could I’m not very talented), and did basically whatever they wanted me to do. I offer them advice (I always try to run it by my hubby first), listen to them if they need to talk, ask them to treat me with respect, but I also encourage them to be a little more playful with me. Thankfully, my husband always lets me know if I cross the line or when I’m getting a little to close to comfort.
I fell in love with the girls and I fell in love with their amazing father and although my feelings developed quicker than theirs; I had faith.
Please forgive me, but I am horrible when it comes to dates so I’m really unsure when it happened, but I got the approval from the girls, I felt like this:
The girls had accepted me as part of their dad’s life as his girlfriend, which meant that I would be a part of the girls’ lives as well. I thought for the longest time that my story of growing to love my stepchildren wasn’t really a story worth sharing, but then I met the sweetest old lady today who taught me what a blessing it was.
Shirley was a passenger of mine while I was working for my ride-sharing company and we had a conversation about one of her previous marriages. She proceeded to tell me that throughout the marriage she never grew close to her stepson, despite her best efforts. Shirley told me, “How lucky you are that you love his children so much. I never grew to love my stepson and my marriage ended because of it; it still bothers me to this day.”
It has been seven years since I first met my husband and during the same time frame I also met my two beautiful, amazing stepdaughters. It is a great feeling whenever I get introduced as their “stepmom” and it makes my heart flutter in the best way. Even though I am married to their dad, it still does not change the fact that they have a mom and dad and no one can replace them.
I would never want to. But for now and forever I hope they know that they are the daughters of my heart. And for that, I am so very thankful.