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Can We Please STOP With The Car Seat Shaming?

There is nothing more exciting as a parent than posting that adorable picture you just took of your little darling, strapped into her car seat, little feet dangling and an ice cream cone melting on her chest. But the second you press Upload, beware: the mom-army Marmy is coming! They’re like Winter, but scarier. ‘Cause they will straight up Judge Every Single Thing YOU Do. The Marmy goes after your mommy soul and they won’t stop until you’re a quivering ball of emotions binge-eating Bluebell with a baby spoon on your kitchen floor. And you can try to unfriend them all, but you can’t always tell who they are. They can be anyone. They’re like skin walkers…one minute you think she’s that sweet woman from church, the next she’s straight up laying into you for being an awful mother who is TRYING to get her child killed. And you were trying, right? I mean, that’s why your little darling’s strap was an inch too low on her chest? WHY DO YOU WANT TO KILL YOUR CHILD!?!


Sorry, I think that got away from me for a second… Look, can we PLEASE just stop with the car seat shaming? That’s all I’m asking. Just, stop.

can we please stop the car seat shaming

Can We Please STOP With The Car Seat Shaming?

1. It does no good after the fact. Do you really think that mom who posted a picture of her kid in a cute dress is looking for advice on how to properly buckle her child? Was the mom who uploaded the video of her toddler singing to Ke$sha really seeking parenting advice? No. They want the ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ earned from having a beautiful, brilliant, talented, adorable child. Bashing them over the head with messages about how the buckle is a quarter of an inch too low on the left is ridiculous. And you’re missing the point that their children are totes amazeballs. If you really care? Go visit  and talk with them in person. Otherwise, bugger off!

2. You need an engineering degree to get it perfect. Seriously. It’s like some of you get out a protractor and a level and check every single picture ever posted to social media to see if everything lines up. And HEAVEN FORBID the parent has a smallish three-year-old and they Dared to face the seat forward. C’mon, people. Don’t you have your own kids to worry about?? Lay off a little, will you? If the picture is posted, the child survived. Am I saying there isn’t room for improvement? No! But that advice should come in person from people who actually KNOW the parents and not from random internet trolls.

3. It will never be as perfect as everyone wants it to be. Ever. Ever. So if this is a mom you know and she’s sincerely done her best, lay off. And if this is a mom you’ve never met and you’re bashing her online? GTFO!

moms shouldn't be car seat shaming, they should be educating

4. Does it really make you feel better about yourself to attack other moms? ‘Cause I kinda think that’s what your doing here. Am I wrong? I mean, it’s like there are moms who wait behind their phones to see someone post a car seat picture so they can be the one to catch the transgressions. I imagine you all, your kids screaming in another room, pudding running down a wall but you’re there staring at your phone…waiting to pounce.

5. No One (even you) is perfect 100% of the time. Kids are squirrelly and wiggly little monsters, and even perfect moms are going to have moments where the straps aren’t one hunned. It happens. So for your sake and everyone else’s be grateful that nothing bad happened and try again next time. That’s all I’m asking. Do your best and lay off other moms who are doing THEIR best.

lets stop with the car seat shaming and start educating to save kid's lives

Look. There Is a proper way to strap those little suckers in and if still in doubt parents can go to their local fire department for help. But that’s not my point. My point is that I see So Many People commenting on Every Single Picture of children in car seats and commenting is almost like a game. A sick, mean-spirited, twisted game of whack-a-mole: the parenting edition. And it’s GOT to STOP. No one likes this game except for you. And while you dilute yourself into believing you’re being helpful, what you’re really doing is acting as judge and jury over your fellow moms. Lay off. Just stop. Go figure out what your kids are screaming over, go scrape the pudding off the wall, and maybe step away from the phone for a bit and get some fresh air.

And now to make you smile…and for a little more help…

Want more? Check out the posts below!

A Note From Jamie: What I want is for us to find a way to HELP other moms who don’t know how to properly buckle a safety belt. To keep everyone’s kids safe. I don’t want the shaming at all. Instead lets build a community where we HELP each other, we show, we inform people that there are places you can go to get your car seat installed properly, that we show people the right way to do this without making them feel dumb for it. Let’s try THAT!


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Melissa Ten

Sunday 19th of January 2020

Its life or death. Car crashes are the number one killer among kids. It's not shaming if it can save a life, genius. Here's the review for best car seats:


Tuesday 2nd of July 2019

I think the car seat laws today are infuriating and excessive. I was riding in the front seat at 6 or 7. My older brother and I used to fight over the front seat by calling “shotgun”. I don’t want anything happening to my kids, obviously, but I also think all this safety, safety, safety stuff is mentally and emotionally damaging and turning today’s kids into soft, scared, pansy weirdos.


Sunday 10th of February 2019

Mom shaming over car seats HAS gone too far. It's not even about safety. I got called out that my 5 1/2 year old was in a high back belt positioning booster seat that was checked out by our local police station who did in fact have car seat techs (certified) on hand. I guess I am supposed to keep him in a 5 point harness until 2nd grade? No, sorry we are not going back he's still very safe and further more can buckle and unbuckle himself and therefore has even learned to take responsibility for his own safety. He is all about the rules I feel safer knowing that no matter who he is with he knows to sit up tall, the belt can't be twisted etc. Yes I am glad we're safer than when I was a kid we didn't even have to wear seat belts in the back seat growing up and I never had a booster seat but we are getting unnecessarily paranoid. One statistic to keep in mind with the car seat deaths is that as much as 40% of those deaths are not due to improper use of car seats, it's because the kids weren't even buckled up at all! That is just common sense.


Friday 12th of October 2018

I've never had anyone comment on my childs seat but it wasn't until my first was 2+years that I did thorough research into car seats and found out the dangers if you get it wrong. I wish someone had of said something to me sooner as I would have got a different seat for my daughter, I can't afford a new seat and no amount of info will convince hubby to buy a new one for a tiny bit of extra safety. It's not shaming if its just info to potentially educate someone.


Friday 12th of October 2018

Its not shaming if it can save a life, genius.