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There is nothing more exciting as a parent than posting that adorable picture you just took of your little darling, strapped into her car seat, little feet dangling and an ice cream cone melting on her chest. But the second you press Upload, beware: the
mom-army Marmy is coming! They’re like Winter, but scarier. ‘Cause they will straight up Judge Every Single Thing YOU Do. The Marmy goes after your mommy soul and they won’t stop until you’re a quivering ball of emotions binge-eating Bluebell with a baby spoon on your kitchen floor. And you can try to unfriend them all, but you can’t always tell who they are. They can be anyone. They’re like skin walkers…one minute you think she’s that sweet woman from church, the next she’s straight up laying into you for being an awful mother who is TRYING to get her child killed. And you were trying, right? I mean, that’s why your little darling’s strap was an inch too low on her chest? WHY DO YOU WANT TO KILL YOUR CHILD!?!
Sorry, I think that got away from me for a second… Look, can we PLEASE just stop with the car seat shaming? That’s all I’m asking. Just, stop.
Can We Please STOP With The Car Seat Shaming?
1. It does no good after the fact. Do you really think that mom who posted a picture of her kid in a cute dress is looking for advice on how to properly buckle her child? Was the mom who uploaded the video of her toddler singing to Ke$sha really seeking parenting advice? No. They want the ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ earned from having a beautiful, brilliant, talented, adorable child. Bashing them over the head with messages about how the buckle is a quarter of an inch too low on the left is ridiculous. And you’re missing the point that their children are totes amazeballs. If you really care? Go visit and talk with them in person. Otherwise, bugger off!
2. You need an engineering degree to get it perfect. Seriously. It’s like some of you get out a protractor and a level and check every single picture ever posted to social media to see if everything lines up. And HEAVEN FORBID the parent has a smallish three-year-old and they Dared to face the seat forward. C’mon, people. Don’t you have your own kids to worry about?? Lay off a little, will you? If the picture is posted, the child survived. Am I saying there isn’t room for improvement? No! But that advice should come in person from people who actually KNOW the parents and not from random internet trolls.
3. It will never be as perfect as everyone wants it to be. Ever. Ever. So if this is a mom you know and she’s sincerely done her best, lay off. And if this is a mom you’ve never met and you’re bashing her online? GTFO!
4. Does it really make you feel better about yourself to attack other moms? ‘Cause I kinda think that’s what your doing here. Am I wrong? I mean, it’s like there are moms who wait behind their phones to see someone post a car seat picture so they can be the one to catch the transgressions. I imagine you all, your kids screaming in another room, pudding running down a wall but you’re there staring at your phone…waiting to pounce.
5. No One (even you) is perfect 100% of the time. Kids are squirrelly and wiggly little monsters, and even perfect moms are going to have moments where the straps aren’t one hunned. It happens. So for your sake and everyone else’s be grateful that nothing bad happened and try again next time. That’s all I’m asking. Do your best and lay off other moms who are doing THEIR best.
Look. There Is a proper way to strap those little suckers in and if still in doubt parents can go to their local fire department for help. But that’s not my point. My point is that I see So Many People commenting on Every Single Picture of children in car seats and commenting is almost like a game. A sick, mean-spirited, twisted game of whack-a-mole: the parenting edition. And it’s GOT to STOP. No one likes this game except for you. And while you dilute yourself into believing you’re being helpful, what you’re really doing is acting as judge and jury over your fellow moms. Lay off. Just stop. Go figure out what your kids are screaming over, go scrape the pudding off the wall, and maybe step away from the phone for a bit and get some fresh air.
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A Note From Jamie: What I want is for us to find a way to HELP other moms who don’t know how to properly buckle a safety belt. To keep everyone’s kids safe. I don’t want the shaming at all. Instead lets build a community where we HELP each other, we show, we inform people that there are places you can go to get your car seat installed properly, that we show people the right way to do this without making them feel dumb for it. Let’s try THAT!