How to Survive the First Week Home with Baby
The idea of bringing home a baby only like 24-48 hours after she’s introduced to the world made me panic for weeks before she was due. That’s just like 2 days (at most) of nurses helping me!
Babies don’t come with a manual, but they really should. Since I’ve done this a couple of times now, though, I feel like I might finally know How to Survive the First Week Home with Baby. Or, I may be deluding myself. Either way, it’s a good plan.
The “you’ll get sleep while in the hospital because nurses will help” idea is a lie.
Before I get into the really good stuff, I want to touch on something you might be betting on as a new mom…
The thought that you’ll get some last-minute much needed sleep because ya know, nurses will help care for your baby once you’ve had her so you can get some sleep.
WRONG!
You see, this time around our hospital’s policy had changed and they encourage (more like force) moms to have their baby the entire time in the hospital unless the baby is needing to be monitored in the nursery.
Even then, they have a 3-hour time limit.
No, I am not kidding.
In fact, my daughter was a bit spitty after she ate so they took her for monitoring for 3 hours and I am not lying when I say they brought her back into the room to the minute when the 3-hour limit was up.
Look, I am not complaining because my baby is my responsibility and I don’t disagree with the mom/baby bonding that can happen with being together all the time.
I was just surprised and a bit sleep deprived.
I can say that this time around, I feel like I gained even more experience of surviving the first week with a new baby because of that experience and it led me here…
The plan.
The plan for surviving it all. The good, the bad, the sleep deprived and the dirty diapers.
Having a plan made me feel so much better. I’ll be remembering all of this should I ever end-up with a bun in the oven again! LOL!
Panic then move on!
Each time I’ve had a baby, my panic has mounted as my due date neared. And on the day-of I totally got the “deer-in-the-headlights” feeling when they said she was about to be my responsibility. EEP!
But look, I’ve survived and so can you. I had my moment (or moments) of panic and then I moved on to be a damn good mom and if you or someone you know is having a baby soon, you’ll be thankful you came across these tips because you’ll be a damn good one too!
How to Survive the First Week Home with Baby
Plan Ahead for Sleep.
If you have a partner, you need to talk about sharing duties beforehand. Babies eat every 3-hours and experts will tell you that your baby should never sleep more than 4 hours without being woken to eat.
Not to mention their poop and sleep cycle are about the same.
Let your partner (or mom or whoever is helping you out) feed the baby at midnight and 6am while you take the 9pm and 3am.
Even if you’re breastfeeding, pump some during the day so that you can sleep through at least one of those two feeds, even if it’s every once in a while.
Sleep is the only way you are going to survive this new mom thing.
The Power of the Swaddle.
Most babies like to be swaddled and it’ll help them go to sleep and stay that way. Babies love to feel comforted and secure just like they were in the womb so ask the nurses to show you how to do it several times.
It’s an art. Learn it. Love it. Repeat.
And most importantly, buy like 100 receiving blankets so you can do it always, especially while baby needs help regulating his/her temp.
Be sure to get soft ones. Baby’s skin is brand new.
Make Feeding Baby Easy.
There’s nothing more annoying than having had an epidural or spinal in your back and it aching for weeks afterward because of your bad posture when you feed your baby.
Get a Boppy Pillow and use it whether you’re bottle feeding or breastfeeding. The support is amazing and it will save your arms, neck and back from hurting.
Don’t be like me. I thought they were superfluous.
I was wrong. They rock!!!
If you were to ask me one must-have baby item besides all the basic obvious necessities, I’d say the Boppy Pillow hands down!
Feed Yourself and Drink.
You need to eat to keep up your strength, keep you from being cranky and to make sure your breastmilk comes-in and stays strong.
Drink lots of water, too. I mean, when you think you’ve had enough water, drink more. There is always room for MORE WATER.
This goes for your partner as well.
Take Care of Your Back.
An epidural or spinal can take some time to get over being sore. Also, your whole center of gravity just changed.
So, try laying-off your back. Think smart before bending.
For example, I don’t know who came up with it, but the inventor of the “second shelf” in the playpen needs a Nobel Peace Prize. I can change a diaper in that and put baby to sleep without hardly bending. No more backache for me.
Time is of the Essence.
Imagine a scenario where you’ve been up for over 24-hours while someone tiny and cute yells at you that their 5th dinner isn’t ready, it’s 3am and now you have to microwave water?!
Um, no.
The bottle warmer can shave anywhere between 3-5 minutes off warming a bottle.
So. Worth. It.
Apply that theory to everything and find time-shortcuts. Or just let baby cry. You decide.
Organization is SO Important.
We have way too many things now.
Little outfits (dirty and clean), 100 receiving blankets (again, dirty and clean), bottles (OMG, dirty and clean), breastfeeding equipment (gah! there’s a trend!), and diaper change materials (yup, both kinds).
I have 8 laundry baskets, 45 tubs, 99 wicker baskets and I still don’t have enough. But if I didn’t have all these, there’d be chaos in the streets. I need organization so I can find my brain and so do you.
Find time in your day to organize everything a little at a time. Once you’re done, you’ll feel so much better about things!
A Video to Help You Survive the First Week Home with Baby
Because I can’t get enough of my adorable daughters, I decided a video was in order! In the video, I show you how to swaddle a tiny baby with your receiving blanket, illustrate the awesomeness of the playpen’s upper-tier seating section, and the benefit of using a Boppy instead of a standard pillow.
BAM!
And just like that, you’ll be a total pro at this whole mom thing and survive the whole first week like it was nothing!
Keep in mind that this is the MINIMUM of what you will need to survive that first week baby is home. If you really want to do more than just get by, go ahead and hire a night-nurse.
That’s really the only thing that could make your life much easier! LOL!
Click here to read ten things you probably aren’t doing to keep your baby safe.
This post was great and full of info. I definitely agree on drinking lots of water and asking for help on feedings.
This article was written by a true moron. First if all, like, how many, like, times are you, like, going to write “like” in an ARTICLE?? If you want to have annoying unintelligent fillers in your colloquial speech, that’s bad enough, but try to leave it out of the writing.
Also, this is completely inaccurate and it’s just trying to scare people. It’s amazing to me that you can take he happiest time of most peoples lives and do nothing but complain about things that never happen.
Get over yourself. It’s not that hard.
‘The’
Exactly NOT what a new mother needs to hear. If you can’t say some nice and/or helpful, please keep your unneeded comments to yourself!
The “likes” bothered me, too. I was too distracted by the terrible writing to focus on the actual message. It always bothers me when someone who makes a living off their writing can’t write properly.
Wow, you’re rude! Who asked for your unsolicited opinion, and really, what makes you some expert to say it’s false? Get over YOURSELF!
My daughter is 11 days old. Like clockwork she wake up every 3 hours to feed. Sometimes 2-3 hrs but mostly 3 hrs. This article is on point. Thanks!
Some of this advice is horrendous. From bad feeding advice (every 3 hours in the first week? Really?!) to assuming all mums have a spinal or epidural. Also learning to swaddle safely is very important to reduce risk of SIDS. The whole article needs rewriting or deleting! Poor new mums being given such appalling incorrect information at a time when they’re most vulnerable.
Pumping milk during the day and not breast-feeding during the night on the first week is really bad advice. This is the time that your body adjusts to the quantities the baby needs and learns what the demand for milk is in order to supply exactly the right amount. skipping feedings is a recipe for acking breasts and bottle feeding at this age may cause nipped confusion. Be ware
Thank you so much I am pregnant and this will be my first baby and I’m so nervous so anything new I learn is a lot of help and now I know how to swaddle which is awesome!
Here’s a tip for first week(s).
Have a lot of clean shirts. Your little sweety will spit and pee on you (specially boy’s). There are more important things than doing the laundry every 2 days 😉
breastfeeding? Lots of PJ’s with buttons in front. Not as expensive as nursing clothes, but easy acces… and you will probly need a lot (ico spit and pee).
And very important… make sure you eat and drink well! Sounds logical, but it’s not.
I had a baby that wanted to be carried/eat all the time and cried when i didn’t.
Lost a lot of weight really quick, more then i gained during pregnancy…
It’s not beneficial for breastfeeding so try and stay healthy yourself.
That’s something I will try to change for when the next one comes.
I barely remember how we survived first weeks, running on auto and adrenaline…
It is all a blur.
Good luck to all (soon to be) moms and have fun with your little one(s)
This was great advice..I’m pretty disappointed in how nasty and judgemental some women are on here. Live and learn…no need to be ugly.
I for one will need someone to help with feedings, and if it’s not every 3 hours and instead more often, then Pumping shouldn’t be a problem…I have to pump, not every mom is able to breastfeed but I’m trying to make the bet choice in my situation.
Im going to buy an Owlet too to monitor my babies heart rate because we lost a son before, so I have a fear of sleeping when baby is here.
I infact, had severe pain due to the epi, in my first 2 pregnancies, because NOT EVERYTHING GOES AS PLANNED…and we all experience these things differently. In my situation the anesthesiologist shoved it in while I was going through a contraction, causing the needle to bend…the second time, the needle was injected at an angle that struck a nerve…so it’s very possible to have pain related to the epi. But it’s great to know this isn’t always the case…with this baby and 12 years later, I will not get an epi.
Asking for help is a big deal for moms, especially protective ones, but it’s needed …and my partner should be part of every process, including taking up feeding times. I think that’s great advice.
I than you for this blog, very insightful…and helps me make my plan…so sorry there are many nasty women who don’t understand there are many different circumstances. Keep sharing!
Thank a lot !!
I am pregnant and I really need this kid of advice because be alone to do so many things I think it’s not funny!! My husband can help me but not in full time so I need to be brave and learn a lot !!!
Amazing !!
🙂
Do you have a link for the receiving blankets ?
This is terrible advice. If you skip the midnight & 6am feeds breastfeeding, you will lose your supply in no time. Especially in the first week! Having a new baby is not about getting sleep. The challenges of the first couple months, including lack of sleep, pass. But if you plan on breastfeeding successfully, you’ve got to do it -yourself-whenever your newborn demands.
Wow super women mother comment lol smh..
These women are right, not judgemental. For mothers who wish to breastfeed, it is very important for milk production not to skip feedings.
Not everyone is as healthy and capable as you. Someone with an auto immune disease needs her sleep so as not to flare. Get off your high horse, at least the woman is TRYING to breast feed when she can. Maybe it’s not to YOUR liking, but who the fuck are you, anyway? You do what works for you, and let someone else do what works for them. If someone NEEDS to sleep so as not to flare and possibly leave their baby as an orphan, fucking let them.
No one was being rude in that comment except for you. No one was on a high horse, just offering other mothers advice other than what was posted. Obviously, some people are just to sensitive to other opinions.
I’m with J, actually. Maybe without the cursing, but “having a new baby isn’t about getting sleep” does reek of judgment. Sorry.
@Angela, agreed 100%
😀 in my opinion (and experience) you don’t need anything special to survive the first week (or month, year…) with a baby.. Everything you need you already have given to you by mother nature… You have breasts to feed and mother sense to know what to do… Other things are optional…
Why should someone feed your few days old baby? The baby sleeps 20 hours a day! You can sleep too… Don’t make things more difficult than they really are… Just be mum and you’ll survive anything with your baby… Everyone of us is different and we all care of our babies just the way we want… I would never ask somebody to feed my baby especially in the first few days of life but if it’s important for you to do that.. Well that’s your decision… 😉 the most important thing is to have a happy baby, right… 🙂
I think this is the best advice I have seen! We are made to do this. Yes, it can be hard but you can do it!
I like that! I’m gonna be a first time mom and I dont feel very nervous (yet) and I’m not super obsessed about what I will need. I hope to be able to go with the flow a bit in the beginning, listen/learn my baby and then develop a system.
The organization and scheduling I hope to figure out with my support system too 🙂
Look at all these mom shamming ladies… tisk, tisk, tisk. How about all of you mind your biscuits and stop forcing your “opinions” on to everyone! Every mom is different as is every baby. Women should be empowering each other and helping each other out not bossing us around. I kind of feel bad for your actual and prospective kids. The supportive and kind women that I hang out with to gain insight on my babies and/or pregnancies all agree that what your doctor doesn’t tell you, you will instinctually know. Don’t stress new mom’s, relax a bit when you can, and find some supportive and helpful women to help you along your way. I wouldn’t bother with some of the over opinionated and nasty women that are featured here in this feed because obviously you’ll just feel bad about yourself and think your instincts are wrong and no new mom should ever have to feel like that. The rest of you mean girls should really check yourselves and stop being bullies, I imagine if you weren’t hiding behind a keyboard you’d probably have more tactful ways to say whatever it is you’re trying to say.
Well said!!!
very very very well said.
I’m so glad you said this! Everyone has a different experience. There’s no need to shame anyone! No advice will be exactly perfect because we all have different babies! We get to learn from others and fit it to our needs! I truly wish women would learn to empower other women through kindness or learn to keep their mouths shut
Thank God that I live in the Netherlands where we get a nurse at home for one week. She takes care of the Household, makes tea and fruit and meals for the hole family, takes care for the baby and mother. She looks out for our health and make shure that the breastfeeding is going well.
* sorry if mine English isn;t right, because I am dutch. 😉
that sounds amazing!!! i wish that happened here!!! =)
I recently survived the first week! I wish I would’ve found this post sooner!
Oh goodness, hahahaha! I’m sorry, this article made me chuckle. Every three hours? When my daughter was brand new, it was more like every 40 minutes – 1 hour. And the breastfeeding/pumping advice was awful, too. This sounds like something written by a woman who has not had children yet.
Wow, you are kind of nasty…
I agree, the breastfeeding advice is not great for mom’s trying to establish breastfeeding. You most definitely should not pump & get others to feed in the first week as this is the time when your milk is coming in and you need baby to nurse, well, constantly!
In a few weeks time when your milk is in properly it wouldn’t hurt to express a little for someone to do a night time feed for you now and again, but you will probably wake up because your boobs feel like they are going to pop.
I feel it would be responsible of the author to edit this one piece of advice in order not to interfere with any new mom’s who are establishing breastfeeding.
I’m with Victoria and Laura. No baby of mine has fed every 3 hours until they were 3-4 months old! I do think the breastfeeding advice is a bit unrealistic and the advice about pumping and skipping feeds in the early stage is a little unwise.
Other than that, good advice especially about eating and drinking. I find it hard to remember to eat and drink as I am so busy or tired so I make up a little basket to have beside me while feeding, including a bottle of water, a snack, spare muslins & breast pads, the house phone/my mobile so I don’t need to get up to answer them etc
The advice about the basket is AMAZING! I’m going to try that once my little one comes! Brilliant!
Yes, PLEASE, new moms, do not assume your newborn can tell time and will only want to eat every 3 hours! I’ve never heard of a breastfed newborn going so long between feeds, and to establish a good milk supply, it is imperative that you feed on cue — ignore the clock, and understand that you will miss a lot of sleep at first. Pumping the first week is not advisable for establishing a good milk supply.
Awesome tips!
I used to keep my DVR stocked with awesome late night shows to make breastfeeding at night less daunting. Who could say “no” to some binge watching, ammi right? WELL it turns out that the TV light and sounds would keep my daughter up. We put her in her own crib (in her own room) at 2 1/2 months, and she slept through the night! **praise jesus hands emoji** So, my advice would be to start the kid in their own room as soon as possible. But that’s just me. I value my sleep 🙂
Safe sleeping guidelines say keep baby in their own sleep space in the same room as you, for 6 months
Your epidural does not cause back pain, this is a myth of labor. Instead, back labor and all the pressure of the baby going through the birth canal causes this pain after birth.
Yes it does actually. I had my second by c section and it’s painful because they stuck a massive needle in your spine. You don’t think you get bruised from that miss smarty pants. Why do people have to be nasty. Don’t look/read if you can’t control your mouth
Goodness me, how rude is Emily being to Elizabeth!?
There are a lot of medical studies showing that there is no increased risk of back pain with an epidural itself.
I am sorry to hear that you, Emily, were bruised following your own epidural. I’ve had two epidurals myself (in one labour – the first one only worked down one side) and was completely and utterly fine the next day.
I had an emergency spinal and had zero pain from it afterwards. Every mother’s birth story is different, keep that in mind.
At the risk of sounding like I know everything (which I don’t!), please don’t advise women to skip feelings to sleep in the beginning. A woman who is committed to breastfeeding her baby exclusively should put baby to breast every time they as much as peep during the first six weeks. It’s so so hard. It’s exhausting. Mama will cry. Mama’s nipples might hurt (ask for help from your IBCLC). But, these first six weeks set the foundation for the entire breastfeeding journey….so please encourage daddy and grandparents to help by letting mama sleep and just bringing baby to her when it’s time to nurse, then taking baby back after.
Again, not trying to sound like you’ve given horrible advice…but women need to know this because preparation is key!
Amen!
Yes! Lots of great tips on here though. What worked for us since I was EBF (I waited to pump until my son was a month), was let my husband do the late night burpings and changings, while I did the feedings. This still took some of the pressure off me and let them bond.
that baby is adorable
Every 3 hours?? HAHAHA!!!!!!!
Other than the horrible breastfeeding advice which has already been addressed in the comments.. I would also add disposable dishes, ready to eat foods for all three meals (whether it’s you or your significant other who has to cook, you’ll appreciate something that has to go straight in the oven!)…And even if you plan on cloth diapering, get some disposables for the first few days.. make it easy on yourself. The last thing you want to worry about is laundry. I don’t remember if I saw burp clothes-but those are a must! 🙂
Sorry, but I have to disagree. Breastfeeding mamas should not be pumping the first week (unless there is a medical reason). Your milk works on a supply/demand basis and pumping extra/skipping feedings is probably not a good idea. (and when would you have time???) Plus, giving a bottle that early can interfere with breastfeeding too. And good luck with a baby that follows a three hour schedule 🙂
I didn’t write this, it was a guest post– and I am going to leave her words, but I agree with you. My kiddo never got on a schedule, and I was totally okay with that, because I am not really a schedule person. 🙂
The breastfeeding advice given here is truly awful. There’s no schedule to follow in the first week. Babies will look for milk whenever they want, not every 3 hours. Pumping in the first week will severely affect the establishment of a supply, as will skipping any feeds. Please edit your article so you are not potentially ruining breastfeeding relationships.
Thanks for your comment! This is a guest post, and not something I wrote myself, so I am really glad we have commenters helping out and making sure everyone sees all sides of being a mom. To each their own!
By leaving in this bad breastfeeding advice you are doing a disservice to new moms who might be struggling with their breastfeeding & read your article. They are likely not going to read the comments as they might be a little busy…and tired….
A responsible thing to do would be to put in brackets that this is not recommended until the infant is at least 6 weeks old.
Actually to the people saying a baby will eat when they will eat, most newborns especially if they’re small or Early need to eat atleast every two hours and absolutely need to be on “a schedule” I had to nurse all my babies every two hours for quite a while until they were big enough to nurse on demand.
Everyone who said a baby will eat when they will eat meant that it would be less than 3 hours. But yes if baby goes more than 2 or 3 hours without feeding you should encourage a feed then.
I hate to say this, but do not let family come visit unless they are truly going to be helpful.
My parents were in their 70’s when my youngest was born, and I felt like I had to entertain them 24/7. The pressure was too much, and really took away from my rest and recovery, especially after a 45 hour labor. I think waiting a few weeks might have been a better plan.
Once they flew home, I was able to relax, rest, and truly enjoy my precious little blessing (after 15 years of infertility and loss). My older children did help, and were delighted to have a baby sister, and they continue to adore her. The laundry/dishes/meals are a non-issue if you’re fully prepared, and this article gives a very good idea of what to have on hand.