To The People Freaking Out Over Male Circumcision: Get Over It

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Dear Freaker-Outers:

Honestly, I’m not sure if I should even go on talking to y’all, because you’ve already decided to hate what I have to say and you’re planning ways to tell me I’m evil. So for you – move on. Seriously. Just go read another article or something. Here’s a picture of a rollerblading penis just for stopping by…

rollerblading penis

Dear Everyone Else:

Here’s the thing: male circumcision is still a thing…and apparently it’s a hotly debated thing. Years ago we thought that it was something that little boys needed and so pretty much every boy in the US was circumcised. After we figured out it wasn’t (as) needed, we (as a society trying to protect our precious boys) kept doing it because we didn’t want boys to stand out as different with their peers. Bullying, yo. That time is over, though. Truth is, it isn’t necessarily necessary in the US (in parts of Africa it can cut down on female-to-male AIDS transmission by 60% so yeah, super duper needed there)…lots of boys aren’t…and we live in a new world where it’s okay for kids to be different.

That being said, if you’re reading this there’s a chance you didn’t even know there was a debate going on. Here are the five people freaking out about male circumcision and why we (they) need to c-a-l-m down.

It's not going to grow if you're freaking out over Male Circumcision, you might need to let it go. Click now!

1. The “I Want My Foreskin Back” guy – To you…it’s gone, man. Let it go. No amount of sending angry messages to moms who circumcised their boys is going to bring your flap of skin back. If something happened to your peep during the procedure, I feel for you. I do. But again, yelling at moms isn’t going to fix what happened to you. Go see a therapist. Find a significant other. Get off the internet. You’re only going to get angrier, so just…move on.

sad about sausage

2. The “My Husband Was Intact And My Kids Are Too” mom – Good for you that everyone in your family matches when they stand up to pee, but that doesn’t mean everyone in the world is exactly the same as you. Stop bullying other moms and trying to make them feel badly about something that’s already been done.

peeing together

3. The “Circumcision Is Male Rape” folks – No. Just, no.

4. The “It’s A Religious Thing And I’m Not” peeps – Again, no. Just, no.

5. Everyone I’m Forgetting – Truth is, in ten years, twenty years, whatever, this isn’t even going to be a thing anymore. It only feels big right now because of the internet and the fact that everything is amplified online. No amount of doxing moms who had their kids cut is going to change things. If it’s gone – it’s gone. As society shifts, less and less people will choose to circumcise and this will all be over. So, for now at least, move on. Go outside. Get some sunshine. Eat a brownie (I’ll let you interpret that as you may), but stop trolling for everyone who has ever had a little boy circumcised…because attacking them isn’t going to change a thing. In fact, it’ll back them into a corner and make them feel they have to justify their decision. So, stop.

internet troll

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  1. All one has to do is reverse the genders, to see what an absolute a hole this hack is.

    1. It’s absolutely sad, tho, that one has to suggest reversing the genders to get people to realize just how incredibly horribly wrong genital mutilation of boys it.

  2. Complete lack of empathy. It is easy for you to say as your genital remains intact. Reincarnation exists, I know from personal experience from a reality that makes this one we are in now look like a black and white hazy dream. I hope you will experience the other side as a guy who is permanently violated and unable to enjoy making love.

  3. Thanks for making me cry again you simple minded, unnecessarily mean person.. I took a psychology class in university before I studied pharmacology and this article absolutely bleeds hidden anger or guilt, simply because anyone who truly didn’t care, while simple minded, wouldn’t feel the need to go on the offensive against emotionally and psychologically damaged victims of involuntary genital cutting. It is blatantly callous, mean spirited, and meets every definition of emotionally abusive, and yes, to countless people who have had something terrible done to them, myself included, and save me your intellectually bankrupt bullshit about how nobody cares, because, uh, countless do for good reason. Just know you are and always will be on the wrong side of this, a pivotal issue of our time, and history will view circumcision and the likes of you as what they always where: people with little critical thinking skills proving it to the world by thoughtlessly subjecting a child to a bizarre, ritualistic, damaging, and downright sick amputation of a huge amount of exterior genital tissue, which when pressed why, you couldn’t even clearly say anything of value. How about we chop off your clitoris and your tits, throw them in the fucking trash, then tell you to shut the fuck up and get over it, bitch. And save me your predictable bullshit response, it is the definition of analogous, if you say it’s not then you are either have an extra chromosome or you are living proof that Darwin must have been wrong. Nothing will make you eat these words harder than if you ever have a son who confronts you about how it has fucked with uis mind body and life, you would take this shitpiece article down for sure, and a lot of you ignorant mothers clinging to this primitive abusive practice due to a lack of brains have that coming. Simple math honey, a good number of you have a depressed angry fucked up son to face in the future, and those tears you will be crying will be so well deserved, remember being a cold hurtful bitch to people truly struggling with this, tell your sons just what you said here. I hope you fucking drown in rape semen, you ugly, mean spirited cow. I should DDoS this disheartening dumpster fire.

    1. I was sat there the entire time I was reading this utter, utter garbage of an article wishing that Mr. Hitchens himself would grace this muppet with a response. Seen as he is dead, I thank you for doing his work

  4. This article is shit. You don’t actually provide any useful information, you use emotions and opinion as justifications, which directly begs the question. You’ll probably label me as some fanatic for uncut penises, but i am not. I read this article because I am open minded and willing to adapt to new information. But this article doesn’t really contain any information, just fluff and anger, so here’s some right back at you.

  5. Yeah, leave it to a women to write about a male-specific issue. Really helps cross the point that you have no understanding of this subject that the only reply you have to an argument is just a gif.

  6. “Get over it, what’s done is done”. Wow, you sound like you really bothered to educate yourself on the subject. You should be a therapist. Smh…how unempathetic can you get? And btw, we progress as a species by evaulating historical errors and being better, not by tacitly shrugging shit off. To the moms out there: “You did what you thought best but don’t push for it going forward.” See? Simple.

  7. The author is unmitigated unsympathetic human garbage that hasn’t bothered to concern herself on the subject enough to genuinely educate herself on it. Yet she has enough interest to tacitly dismiss the perfectly rational concerns of those opposed. Her irrational defense of the status quo for it’s own sake is an embarrassment to rational thinking and is unempathetic as hell.

    1. Perhaps I was a bit harsh, but it was a knee-jerk reaction to unsympathetic rhetoric. The author’s argument is essentially “get over it” but if everyone did then nothing would ever change, and no, cut guys shouldn’t have to just “get over it”. It was their body, not yours or anyone elses. They lost something not so insignificant and had no say in it. Getting it back isn’t the point. The “what’s done is done” argument is bullshit. It wasn’t okay to do. It’s important to evaluate our actions and accept when something was done wrong so we can learn from it. You don’t get a free pass on that just because. Nobody should make moms feel bad over it because of course the better part of them had the best intentions, but that doesn’t mean we should disregard it. The doctors, for example, should know better, and American Pediatrics needs to be called out on this shit. And the author’s right, it isn’t “rape”. It’s the genital mutilation of non-consenting babies. Babies. Still not so great yeah? In Europe those who were circumsized as infants are considered trauma victims, because it checks all the boxes. A sensitive piece of someone’s penis is cut off as a baby and your response is “get over it”. So yeah I got a little mad.

  8. To people who want to justify infant circumcision.
    1. You’re fucking perverts. Even mental health professional are beginning to suggest you might be pedophiles.
    2. You’re sadistic assholes. There is no reason to subject and innocent and defenseless child to that much pain.
    3. Ancient Greeks and Romans used to execute parents who would circumcise their sons.

  9. It should be done when the baby is too young to remember, so much better than having to experience it later, when it will hurt a lot more, and besides it’s just a useless flap of skin. For these reasons, all infant girls should have their hymens sliced open by doctors inserting blades into their vaginas before they leave the hospital. They’ll thank you for it later. What’s the big deal? Who cares about your silly claims of being violated? Get over it.

    1. Exactly
      Or have their breasts removed so they don’t have the chance of getting breast cancer. Flap of skin” unreal!! Yeah, flap of MY skin, with nerves, mass, God given penis. What ever happened to the “it’s my body argument”. Funny how women don’t apply that here…”oh it’s differnt!! It looks funny! It looks better cut” what?? So you’re performing plastic surgery on a babies penis because YOU think it looks funny!!!?
      Treacherous minded self centered morons!

  10. “Mary Malcolm is an author, blogger, and overall swell gal. She’s got enough snark to fill a football stadium, but that’s probably just because she’s out of coffee again. Have something that’s pushing your buttons? Send Mary a message and maybe she’ll write about it on the site!”

    More like Mary Malcolm is a fucking agenda pusher. A fat fuckin pig with no regard for humanity. Cutting off dicks ain’t nice. Fuck off with that ancient jewish cult.

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