15 Discontinued Canned Foods You’ll Never Find Again
Ah, canned food. The reliable sidekick of every apocalypse prepper, college student, and the “I’m-too-tired-to-cook” crowd. There’s just something about popping open a tin can and dumping its vaguely recognizable contents into a pot that screams convenience. Sure, some canned foods are classic—your soups, your beans, the untouchable chef-d’oeuvre that is SpaghettiOs. But for every reliable staple, there’s a whole army of canned weirdness that has quietly vanished from grocery store shelves, leaving us with vague memories of “Was that real? Did I really eat that?”
Well, yes, you did. We all did. And while some of these foods earned a soft spot in a few hearts, others make us wonder if food companies were running some kind of prank on us. Whatever the case, these canned creations are long gone, discontinued and largely forgotten, relegated to the dark corners of our culinary history. But, hey, let’s take a walk down memory lane and remind ourselves of the foods we used to crack open in desperate times—or maybe even willingly. Here are 15 canned foods you’ll probably never eat again. And trust us, it’s for the best.
Campbell’s Pepper Pot Soup
If you ever craved a soup that smelled like wet dog and tasted like regret, Campbell’s Pepper Pot Soup was for you. A strange mix of beef tripe (that’s stomach lining, by the way) and a peppery broth, this soup was supposedly a tribute to a famous Revolutionary War recipe. Spoiler alert: It didn’t age well. Campbell’s finally put this soup out of its misery a few years back, and honestly, it’s probably for the best.
Heinz “Great American Soup”
Back in the ‘70s, Heinz decided to swing for the fences and create a line of gourmet soups. The name “Great American Soup” sounded promising, right? But unless you were a huge fan of mushy, over-salted everything, this line of soups was far from great. The flavors ranged from uninspired to flat-out weird (does anyone actually like creamed chicken soup?), and it was eventually canned—pun fully intended.
Libby’s Chicken Vienna Sausages
Vienna sausages are already a bit of a love-it-or-hate-it affair, but Libby’s version took it to a whole new level. If regular Vienna sausages are the shady cousin of hot dogs, these were the cousin you only see at the occasional family reunion, and everyone avoids. Soft, salty, and suspiciously chicken-like, these bite-sized meat sticks were an acquired taste. Apparently, not enough people were acquiring it, because they quietly disappeared from shelves.
Franco-American Macaroni and Cheese
Mac and cheese in a can. Need we say more? Franco-American thought they could recreate the beloved comfort food by sealing it in a tin can, but the result was more like rubbery noodles in a sauce that vaguely resembled cheese. It was a sad, soupy affair, and anyone who tried it is probably still a little traumatized. Kraft’s blue box reigns supreme for a reason, folks.
B&M Brown Bread
The concept of bread in a can probably should’ve been a red flag from the start, but B&M Brown Bread had a decent run. It was dense, sticky, and required some pretty intense effort to pry out of its can-shaped prison. While it had a cult following among New Englanders, most people were baffled by the idea of canned bread. Eventually, the market spoke: we prefer our bread… not cylindrical.
Underwood Deviled Tongue
If you’ve ever wanted to spice up your sandwich with a little tongue, well, Underwood had you covered—at least for a while. Deviled tongue came canned, spiced, and ready to smear on bread. It’s safe to say this product catered to a very niche audience, and that audience clearly wasn’t big enough to keep it around. Now, it’s just another relic of the “why did this exist?” food era.
Sweet Sue Canned Whole Chicken
Picture this: you open a can, and a whole, slimy, pale chicken plops out. It sounds like a scene from a horror movie, but no, this was a real product. Sweet Sue thought it was a good idea to can an entire chicken, bones and all, for your convenience. “Convenient” isn’t exactly the word people used to describe this abomination, and it didn’t take long for it to disappear into the food history hall of shame.
Chef Boyardee’s Smurf Pasta
Back in the 1980s, Chef Boyardee thought Smurfs and pasta were a match made in marketing heaven. Spoiler: They were not. This odd blue-themed canned pasta, featuring everyone’s favorite little blue creatures, was more of a gimmick than a gourmet meal. It didn’t taste any better than regular canned pasta (which is already a low bar), and kids quickly lost interest in slurping down little blue faces. It’s no wonder this one vanished.
Hormel’s Canned Tamales
Tamales are delicious. Hormel’s canned version, however, was… not. It was as if they took the essence of a tamale and then sucked out all the joy. Wrapped in some sad little corn husk remnants, the tamales were mushy, flavorless, and kind of depressing. Unsurprisingly, this wasn’t a hit with fans of real tamales, and Hormel eventually retired them.
Koogle Peanut Spread
For those who ever wondered, “What if peanut butter, but weirder?” Koogle was the answer. This peanut spread came in flavors like chocolate, banana, and cinnamon, which sounds like a fun experiment, but it quickly became apparent that some foods are better left in their original form. Koogle tried to be quirky, but instead, it ended up tasting like confusion in a jar. Its brief time on shelves wasn’t enough to build a legacy.
La Choy Canned Chop Suey
Nothing screams “authentic Chinese cuisine” quite like chop suey from a can, right? Wrong. La Choy’s attempt to bring Chinese food to the masses in canned form didn’t go over well. The overly salty, mushy mix of veggies and mystery meat was more of an insult to chop suey than a tribute. It lingered for a while, but most people figured out there are better ways to get your stir-fry fix.
Del Monte Pickled Beets
Beets are already a divisive food, but pickling them and sticking them in a can? That’s a hard sell. Del Monte’s pickled beets were tangy, overly sweet, and, well, still beets. While they may have had a few devoted fans, most people passed on this vibrant magenta disaster. Del Monte eventually got the hint and pulled the plug.
Kraft Chicken à la King
There was a time when Chicken à la King was considered a fancy dish, so naturally, Kraft thought they could bring that fancy straight to your pantry—in a can. The problem? Chicken à la King doesn’t exactly survive the canning process. What you ended up with was a soupy, chunky mess that tasted like your grandma’s worst casserole. It quietly disappeared, and no one really missed it.
Morton House Corned Beef Hash
Canned corned beef hash is still a thing, but the Morton House version is a thing of the past. This particular brand was known for being especially greasy and salty, making it a heart attack waiting to happen. Corned beef hash can be delicious, but this was not it. It eventually fell victim to changing tastes and the rise of healthier breakfast options.
Green Giant Asparagus Tips
For some reason, canned asparagus was once a thing. Why? We may never know. Green Giant gave it a shot, but it turns out that mushy asparagus tips aren’t something people really want to eat. Fresh asparagus is tricky enough to cook perfectly, so you can imagine how bad it got after spending months in a can. It didn’t take long for this product to get the ax.
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