15 Things You Should Never Say to Someone from Florida
Let’s face it—Florida is a world all its own. Palm trees, sunshine, and theme parks might be what comes to mind for some, but those who’ve spent time in the Sunshine State know that it’s a lot more complex than just beaches and Disney. You might think you’re being clever when making a comment about the weather or the alligators, but Floridians have heard it all before. And spoiler alert—they’re not amused. Whether it’s hurricanes, retirees, or the sheer volume of tourists, Florida’s got its own unique flavor, and you’d be wise to respect it. People from Florida are tough, and they’ve had enough of your stereotypes.
So, before you start cracking jokes or throwing around assumptions, there are a few things you should absolutely avoid saying. Why? Because even if you’re saying it with good intentions, it’s guaranteed to earn you an eye-roll or, worse, an extended lecture on the complexities of Florida life. They already know it’s hot; they’ve seen the memes, and yes, they’ve heard of Florida Man. But if you’re still convinced you’re the first to come up with that hilarious joke about humidity, you might want to rethink your approach.
Here’s a list of 15 things you should never, ever say to someone from Florida.
“Do you even own winter clothes?”
Believe it or not, yes, people in Florida have winter clothes. Shocking, right? They might not be pulling out heavy parkas, but come January, when the temperature plummets to a bone-chilling 60 degrees, they’re bundled up like they’re in the Arctic. Don’t underestimate a Floridian’s ability to get cold just because they live in a subtropical climate.
“You must be at the beach all the time!”
Sure, the beach is great, but it’s not like Floridians are lounging on the sand 24/7. Life isn’t one big vacation. Most of them are stuck in traffic, at work, or dealing with their actual lives. Plus, have you tried driving to the beach on a weekend? It’s a nightmare. Parking? Forget about it.
“Is everyone a retiree?”
While Florida does have its fair share of retirees, it’s not just a giant retirement home. It’s also full of young professionals, families, and, gasp, people who aren’t even thinking about retirement yet. So no, not everyone spends their days playing shuffleboard and reminiscing about the good old days.
“So, what’s it like living with all the alligators?”
Yes, there are alligators in Florida. And no, they’re not wandering down every street like neighborhood pets. Most Floridians go their whole lives without having a close encounter with one. It’s not like they’re casually hanging out in people’s pools or sunbathing on the front lawn (although it can happen).
“Do hurricanes freak you out?”
Here’s the thing about hurricanes—Floridians are professionals at dealing with them. They’ve got their hurricane kits, evacuation plans, and that unshakable confidence that their house will probably make it through just fine. After a while, a Category 1 storm just feels like an excuse to throw a hurricane party.
“Isn’t it just Disney World and retirement villages?”
Oh, how original. Florida is way more than just Mickey Mouse and retirees. There are beautiful natural springs, vibrant cities, and actual culture! While theme parks are a huge part of the state’s identity, that’s not all there is. Have you ever heard of the Florida Keys? Everglades? Yeah, Florida’s got range.
“How do you handle all that humidity?”
Pro tip: never bring up the humidity. Floridians already know that stepping outside feels like walking into a sauna. They’ve accepted it as part of life. They’re basically human amphibians at this point—if you can’t take the heat, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your travel plans.
“Florida Man—what’s that all about?”
Look, every state has its crazies. Florida just happens to have a few more headlines about theirs. It’s not like every Floridian is running around committing bizarre crimes. “Florida Man” is a phenomenon that’s more about news reporting than actual Floridians being out of control.
“Do you ever get tired of the sunshine?”
Believe it or not, even Floridians sometimes wish for a cloudy day. But most of the time, they love their sunshine. It’s not all glamorous, though. The constant sunburn risk and having to wear sunglasses 24/7 can get old. And don’t even get them started on the “dangerous UV index” alerts.
“Isn’t Florida basically just Southern Georgia?”
No, no it is not. Florida is its own beast. While the northern part of the state might have some Southern charm, once you get below Orlando, you’re in a whole different world. Miami, in particular, feels like another country entirely. It’s an international melting pot with its own vibe.
“Why does everyone drive so crazy?”
Florida drivers are…a special breed. The roads are filled with people from every corner of the country, all with their own ideas of what “driving” means. And then there are the snowbirds—seasonal residents from up North—who add to the chaos every winter. Floridians just accept the madness and hope for the best.
“Are the bugs as bad as they say?”
Yes. Next question. Floridians have come to terms with the fact that they live among mosquitoes the size of small birds and palmetto bugs that could probably survive the apocalypse. It’s just one of those things you learn to live with, like humidity and hurricanes.
“Why does everyone retire to Florida?”
It’s not rocket science. Warm weather, no state income tax, and a slower pace of life—who wouldn’t want that? But don’t assume everyone in Florida is there to kick back and relax. Plenty of people are still hustling, even if they’re doing it in flip-flops.
“Isn’t the wildlife dangerous?”
Florida has some wild wildlife, no doubt. But most Floridians are savvy enough to avoid anything that could actually harm them. Yes, there are snakes, gators, and the occasional bear, but they know how to coexist. It’s not like they’re out there wrestling pythons on the daily.
“Why would anyone live in Florida?”
Ah, the ultimate insult. Why Florida? Maybe because they love the sun, the laid-back lifestyle, or the fact that there’s no snow to shovel. It’s not for everyone, but for those who call Florida home, it’s paradise—mosquitoes and all.
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