15 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Someone from California
Ah, California. The land of sunshine, beaches, avocados, and earthquakes. A state where the weather is always perfect (except when it’s not), and everyone is just a bit too laid back for the rest of the country. People from California have heard it all—good, bad, and everything in between. You might think you’re being funny or insightful, but trust us, some things should never be said to someone who hails from the Golden State. Maybe it’s the assumption that everyone surfs to work or the idea that the entire state is just one big Hollywood film set. Whatever it is, Californians have their fair share of misconceptions thrown at them, and it’s time we set the record straight.
Let’s clear the air (well, as clear as it can be with all that wildfire smoke) and discuss the top 15 things you should avoid saying to someone from California.
“Do you, like, know any celebrities?”
Oh, yes. Every single Californian has coffee with Brad Pitt on Mondays and does yoga with Beyoncé on Thursdays. They’re basically in everyone’s speed dial. Honestly, unless you’re living in LA—and even then—most Californians don’t spend their days rubbing elbows with A-listers. They’re too busy dealing with traffic and trying to avoid $15 parking fees.
“Why are you complaining? You live in paradise.”
California might look like paradise, but let’s not forget the droughts, fires, and occasional earthquakes that come with the territory. Sure, the sunsets are breathtaking, but nothing kills the vibe faster than having to evacuate your house because of a fire warning. Paradise, it seems, comes with a hefty side of natural disasters and overpriced rent.
“It must be so nice to live on the beach.”
Not everyone in California lives on the beach, Karen. In fact, most people live a good 30 minutes to an hour away from the nearest ocean—if not further. And let’s not even get started on the cost of owning a home with a sea view. Spoiler alert: it costs more than your life savings.
“Isn’t everyone, like, super into health and fitness?”
Sure, you’ll find juice bars and yoga studios on every corner, but that doesn’t mean every Californian is a kale-munching marathon runner. There are plenty of people who prefer a burger and fries over an açai bowl, and that’s perfectly okay. You don’t have to do Pilates to get your California ID, contrary to popular belief.
“Do you even own a jacket?”
This one’s for the SoCal folks. Yes, they do own jackets. They break them out when the temperature dips below 70°F, and, yes, they will complain about how “cold” it is. But if you’re in Northern California, jackets are a way of life. Fog and chilly breezes are part of the charm, after all.
“So, how often do you go to Disneyland?”
For most Californians, Disneyland is a place you go once every five years, when you can finally justify spending $200 to stand in line for two hours. It’s not a weekend hobby. Plus, some of them don’t even like Disneyland. Shocking, I know.
“You must love In-N-Out!”
Look, Californians like In-N-Out. It’s a good burger. But it’s not the holy grail of fast food that people make it out to be. Sometimes, they just want a Shake Shack or Five Guys. Is that so wrong?
“Is California going to fall into the ocean?”
No, California is not going to dramatically slide into the Pacific like some doomsday movie. Yes, earthquakes happen, but the state isn’t going anywhere. Maybe check your science sources before making wild geological predictions.
“So, where’s the best place to see the Hollywood sign?”
If someone’s from LA, they probably couldn’t care less about the Hollywood sign. They’ve seen it, they’ve driven past it, and it’s not all that exciting. If you’re hoping for insider tips on how to snap the perfect selfie with the sign in the background, prepare for disappointment.
“Why do you guys have so many fires?”
Great question. Why does California have so many natural disasters in general? Between the droughts, wildfires, and the occasional earthquake, it’s like the state can’t catch a break. But unless you’re a climate scientist, it’s probably best to leave this one alone.
“Isn’t it always sunny?”
California is a big state, my friend. Sure, some places like LA get a lot of sun, but drive up to San Francisco, and you’ll be lucky to see the sun peek out through the fog. Weather varies, believe it or not. It’s not all endless sunshine and flip-flops.
“Are you going to Coachella this year?”
Contrary to Instagram’s best efforts, not every Californian is obsessed with Coachella. Sure, it’s a big deal for some, but for others, it’s just another weekend where they stay as far away from the desert as possible. Also, tickets are outrageously expensive. Some people prefer to keep their sanity (and money) intact.
“Why is everything so expensive here?”
Ah, the million-dollar question—literally. Housing, gas, avocado toast… it’s all overpriced. But Californians are too tired of explaining the cost of living, supply and demand, and how they sometimes just deal with it because, well, the weather is pretty nice.
“Is everyone in Silicon Valley a tech genius?”
Nope. Not everyone in the Bay Area is coding the next big app. Sure, there’s a lot of tech, but there are also plenty of regular people just trying to live their lives. Besides, not everyone’s trying to disrupt an industry—some folks just want a stable Wi-Fi connection.
“What’s the deal with the traffic?”
If there’s one thing every Californian can agree on, it’s that the traffic is bad. But pointing it out to a local is like telling someone from Florida that it’s humid. They know. They’ve lived it. They’re in it. Every day. Just don’t bring it up unless you want to hear a long rant about freeway construction and terrible drivers.
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