Becoming a mom is a little like enlisting in the military, then being thrown into combat with little to no training. It’s a war out there, folks, and unless we adapt quickly we’ll be slaughtered. My way of adapting? With every year of my daughters’ life, my purse has grown an entire size. I learned early on that the key to managing kids is having exactly what they need on hand, whenever they need it. That’s why my purse, which once was the size of a coin bag, now resembles a suit case. Here are 10 Things (I’m Certain) ALL Moms With Big Purses Know For Sure…
10 Times My Big Purse Defined Me As A Mom…
1. Sometimes they knock kids over – We don’t mean to do it, but someone says ‘mom’ and we turn. If that big ol’ bag is on our shoulder, well, there’s gonna be fall out. Sorry, kid. Walk it off…
2. Backaches are the worst – Moms with big boobs and big purses can relate to this one. Hell, moms in general. Basically, anytime you have to carry something the size of a small island on your body your back is going to hurt.
3. No, you can’t take anything out to make it lighter… – And even suggesting that to us is a laugh. We need everything in there…why else would we have it in there?
4. Wait…how did THAT get in there? – Okay, so maybe we don’t need everything. I did once find a forgotten pair of tube socks wrapped around my hairbrush and nestled in next to a travel size copy of Hop On Pop.
5. Old food is a fact of life – Fries are the easiest to clean out, because for some ungodly reason (that I don’t want to even think about) they don’t age. Old fruit and melted candy bars are the worst.
6. Security lines are the WORST – Look, there’s an easy fix for this one: don’t call me for jury duty. Boom. Sorted. Also, my apologies to the people who come in behind me at concerts and sporting events.
7. Everyone turns to you when they need something – My purse might be a pain to the people around me some of the time, but I’ll Always be the first person you turn to when you need a bandaid. Or have a headache. Or need a spare pair of tube socks. Admit it – you’re kind of grateful for my purse.
8. Purses double as lockers – Within the past year, I’ve managed to carry a change of clothes in my purse, tuck away books my daughter needed for school, keep pictures of my loved ones, even stash full lunches. Basically, sometimes my purse is a middle school locker.
9. When it comes time to go to the movies… – Yeah. You know you love me and my behemoth bag then.
10. You’re the original boy scout and you’re Always Prepared… – Moms have to be ready on the fly. Like it or not, my purse is Always going to save me in situations where lesser moms fall. As long as I’ve got a child at home, my purse is here to stay.