I never thought I’d make it this far.
I’m relieved, I’m scared, guilty, satisfied, and so many other emotions about it that I don’t really know where to look next.
So, kevin- my soon to be ex-husband, plead guilty on Friday and is doing sixty days jail time along with supervised probation for the next four years.
There’s a lot of dropped balls I need to try and pick up. I know some of them will stay dropped forever, but when you lose all executive function in a trauma, it just sort of— doesn’t work anymore.
I think that’s one of the harder parts of all this. I’m a champ in a tragedy. I’m the person they call with the level head.
But this time? This tragedy was too much for my brain to handle and it just shut down. Which, I do like that I understand now what that feels like when it happens to other people, I just wish there had been another way to feel it.
My issue is this… I can’t figure out what’s next because I never planned to make it this far. I never planned to make it out of this marriage alive.
How do you plan for the rest of your life when you were absolutely sure it wouldn’t happen.
What is next? Next is I have to get that executive dysfunction thing under control and start doing some major adulting.
That’s step one. Baby steps. Into adulting. Heh.
I have been wandering about you and I am so glad that you have made it this far but don’t let your guard down and let your emotions get to you. I was in a domestic violence relationship with my husband for 12yrs and 3 kids and I moved to my home state. He didn’t want to visit the kids because he didn’t want to pay child support. I didn’t tell our children that I only said that he loved them in his own way and that I would set up supervised visits if he wanted to visit them. I didn’t discuss anything about the abuse to them because I figured that they needed to be kids and not bare the weight of the actions of their father. I did remarry after the kids were grown. Life of a single parent is Hard,money is tight,sometimes needs come before wants. I always tried to do a family night with a movie and popcorn,board games or games. I don’t know much about Executive dysfunction but I do have ADD issues and can lose track of what I’m doing or not finishing something that I started. Jamie,You can do this, I have confidence in you and you will succeed! Keep on shining! I’m sure you’ll be able to make a better life for yourself and your