You Can Go Your Own Way

Somewhere along the way, people started acting like being in a relationship is the default setting, and being single is the wrong one. Like if you’re single, you must be waiting for something to happen, or you’re just this incomplete version of who you’re meant to be.

But what if that’s backwards? What if it’s totally okay to be single?

Even as I type this, my grandma is texting me that it can get lonely, and I just keep thinking about how peaceful the “lonely” time actually is.

That’s kind of where I’m at right now. It’s not that I’m bitter or a man-hater—it’s that I don’t want to live someone else’s life anymore. I spent the last twenty years doing that for men who didn’t deserve my time or energy, and I finally realized I don’t have to bend myself in half to appease anyone.

I’ve learned that I have control over how I spend my days. When I catch myself sliding into someone else’s routine—sitting at a sports bar watching games I don’t care about, eating food I don’t even like—I remind myself, “I don’t have to keep doing this. I can step back.”

Because that’s not me. That’s not where I want to be.

For so long, I forgot what it was like to make choices just for myself. To wake up and ask, what do I actually want to do today?

Now, it’s simple things. Choosing to stay home and work because it brings me joy. Choosing to paint the bathroom because it feels good to finish something. Choosing to get my nails done just because it makes me smile when I look at my hands. Choosing to write because it fills me up, not because anyone else expects it.

Doing what I want doesn’t mean I’m selfish. It doesn’t mean I don’t love people. It just means I finally understand that my peace matters too. That my time is valuable. That my afternoons are mine—whether that’s curled up with a book, out with friends, or knee-deep in a craft project.

It feels radical to say, “I don’t want to sit in a place I don’t like just because someone asked me to. I don’t want to keep shaping my life to fit into someone else’s box.”

What I want is to breathe. To laugh. To create. To live a life that actually feels like mine.

That’s what I am starting to see. I am not something missing, instead I am gaining.

Gained mornings where I wake up and set the tone for my day. Gained evenings where I don’t need to explain how I spend my time. Gained weekends that feel like rest, adventure, or both—depending on what I need.

For me, it’s about reclaiming my joy. Finally believing that I don’t have to shrink my life down to fit into someone else’s world. Finally seeing that “alone” and “lonely” are not the same thing.

I’m painting bathrooms, getting my nails done, working on my house, writing my words, laughing, and building a life that feels like me.

Because that’s the point.