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5 People I’d Beat Up

I’ve been thinking a lot about super powers lately. Yeah, I know that most of you probably don’t spend a lot of your spare time sitting around thinking about what you’d do if you had special powers. (Or maybe you do, and that’s why you’re here. In that case, wanna go for coffee? I’m buying.)

I still don’t know what I’d want my super power to be. I mean, there are just so many really cool and endless possibilities, but what I do know is if I were in high school and I was the lowly picked on uber geek like we always read about in our favorite YA adventures, and I woke up with super strength or whatever–dude I’d have some serious butt to kick.

Yeah, that’s right–I wouldn’t be one of those boring hero-types that say around hiding my powers or what have you. I’d pwn some people.

  1. The Bully: Okay, this is a no brainer. But, that guy still deserves to get his butt kicked into next week. He preys on the innocent, and what the hell kind of super power having person would I be if I didn’t give that guy a piece of my mind?
  2. The Super Smart Girl: Oh, but she’s smart. Why on earth would you want to beat her up? Because she’s been sitting at the front of the class wrecking the curve and knowing all the answers to questions. I hate this girl, not because I want to be her or anything, but because she’s just so right all the time.
  3. The Snotty Cheerleader: Why? Dude, we’re talking about a nerdy geek here who’s been picked on for years. The thing about that typical cheerleader type is they go two ways in books. They’re either super nice and awesome, or they’re complete bitches. I’m not saying I’d kick the butt of the nice girl. It’s the mean one I want to take down with my yet to be determined powers.
  4. The Pretty Boy: That seems like a bad idea to some of you, because chances are he has his own set of problems, what with being the pretty boy and all that, but I am still ging to pwn him based solely on the fact that he’s prettier than me.
  5. The Drum Major: Oh man, when I lay the smack down this is going to be my favorite. She’s bossy, and probably best friends with #2, but I don’t even care. She’s like the leader of the nerds, and that alone is enough for her to go down–but I have other reasons. You see, I was a bass drum playing band geek myself, and I’ve spent many a Texas summer standing at attention wishing more than anything I could just take my drumstick and shove it right–

Whoa… this list got more personal than I intended it to. So, on that note–I want to know:

Who would you beat up?

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