Ads For Bathtub Trays Prove Nobody Ever Takes A Bath In Real Life
What are bathtub trays for anyway?
Every time I tell people I prefer baths to showers they look at me like I have two heads. I once tried to sell a house that had no shower in the master bathroom and everyone thought I was completely insane.
What that has taught me is that nobody ever actually takes a bath, and this woman, Sharon Su has decided that not only does nobody ever take a bath, but they advertisers also have NO IDEA what the hell a bath tray is for.
And if I am being honest, I don’t really know, either.
I am, however more concerned about this lady’s candles balanced precariously than anything else. Hair does not smell good when it’s on fire.
Love sitting in a bubble bath with a glass of wine and a [checks notes] small undressed salad pic.twitter.com/NgA3ri2wXb
— Sharon Su (@doodlyroses) March 24, 2019
I am more concerned that she has this salad and NO FORK. It’s not like she can just wash her hands in between bites.
Oh, wait…
You know it's not a complete bath without a glass of red wine, a tiny latte, and an empty mug. Ambience brought to you by a phone video of a woman playing a ukulele and a handful of rose petals where your undressed salad normally goes pic.twitter.com/yFkBPczJfK
— Sharon Su (@doodlyroses) March 24, 2019
This is a LOT of drinks in the tub. Like, three more than I usually have.
But, more importantly, WHO is drinking a latte in the hot bathtub?
This company has figured out what women really want while bathing: half a bottle of j'adore perfume to continually spray while nomming on cherries and sipping an electric blue cocktail pic.twitter.com/TO5QblI48N
— Sharon Su (@doodlyroses) March 24, 2019
Wait, is that NAIL POLISH?!? How are you supposed to paint your nails in the tub? That would NEVER work.
The cornflakes and blue drink on the other hand are a helluva way to spend a Tuesday night, and I am in.
The EXCESS in this photo! White AND red wine! Green AND purple grapes! Eight kinds of cheese! And the piece de resistance…not one, but TWO phones pic.twitter.com/NulMR2S1yE
— Sharon Su (@doodlyroses) March 24, 2019
Clearly this is a bathtub trays party for two. Except WHERE IS THE OTHER PERSON!?!?
I mean, I have a guess based on that smile she’s tossing back at us, but that is not appropriate at all.
Look if you're not chowing down on waffles and hot dogs while gazing at stock photography of the ocean then what are you even doing pic.twitter.com/2EQvQNsa9k
— Sharon Su (@doodlyroses) March 24, 2019
This tray though? This is a tray I might be into. IS THAT A WAFFLE?!?!
At least they’re using a fork this time.
