After Divorce: Trying To Date When You Have A Teenager

I’ve been divorced five years. That’s half as long as I was married. So I thought it might be time to start dating again. But my daughter is fifteen. And this means she’s dating, too.

So, yes. That means my daughter and I can go out on a double date.

Look, we’re not actually going to do that or anything, but holy moly, we totally could.

Here’s the thing, I have a responsibility to my daughter not only to be a good mom, and a good role model, but also to show her what kinds of guys to choose. To show her that guys shouldn’t be coming home with me after a date, to show her what it means to respect yourself.

And like, sometimes I just want to throw that all out the window and be careless and dumb. Date a guy that has no potential future for me, just be free and fun. But then I start to wonder what kind of message that is sending to her. I sometimes just don’t want to be lonely, but then I have to remember that I don’t want her to date because she’s lonely. This is so much harder than I ever thought it would be.

I want her to know that she shouldn’t be sending pictures to guys that she wouldn’t be comfortable with the rest of the world seeing, so I have to remember that rule, too. (No matter how many guys ask for nudez. And… it’s a lot.) I want her to remember to put herself and her school first, so I have to remember to put myself and my kids and my work first. And sometimes this turns guys off, sometimes this makes guys not call me back, and when I say to her “Look, if he can’t wait for you to finish your homework to talk to you, then he’s not the right guy for you. Even if he’s really really cute.” I have to remember that if he can’t wait for me to get dinner on the table and homework checked to talk to me then he’s not the right guy for me. Even if he’s really really cute.

And so, it’s hard. Dating at the same time as your teenager, but don’t let that get you down. I won’t let it get me down. We got this.