It’s still weird to say those words.
My boy-er-fiancee and I have been together just under five years. You’d think the progression of dating, co-habitating, and getting married would be pretty standard by now. But it’s still so weird!
That’s another post entirely.
It’s about…the dress.
I’m Excited About The Wedding, But Freaked Out About The Dress
Suffice to say, I am not your average bride. I’m tattooed, my hair is neon pink and…I’m not excited about doing a wedding. I’m eyes-on-the-prize when it comes to getting that wedding band slipped inside my engagement ring (it’s not the most comfortable without it) but the rest of it?
Oh dear God, I’m in over my head.
And that’s saying something.
I’m the girl from seminary who has been in around thirty weddings. I’ve done this song and dance for so many people on all sides of the wedding party. I’ve been a bridesmaid, a groom’s woman, the officiant, the wedding party bouncer, you’d think I’d be ready to be a bride.
But I’m not.
I was woefully under prepared for this.
My first clue should have been the wagging eyebrows and, “Soooooo?”
Uh, so what?
It always comes down to the dress.
I’m literally sweating, waking up at night stressing over what this freaking dress is going to look like. Will it be a ball gown? Will it have sleeves? What about lace? Crystals? A train?
I need a paper bag. A Xanex. Someone to hold my hand and tell me I won’t screw this up, because dear God I feel like if I do not pick the most perfect wedding dress EVERYTHING WILL BE A DISASTER!
These are the moments I walk over to my fiancee, pause his game and tell him to hug me. Hug me right now and tell me I will be a pretty bride. He does this after a few WTF’s because, yeah, I just paused his game but he asked this train wreck of a person to marry him so he gets to put up with it.
It’s in these moments that I have to remind myself, it’s not about the dress. Or the reception. Or what anyone else wears. Where we get married. It’s that being together, promising each other that we’re going to be together for better or worse, is so much more important than the material things.
Wish me luck. I’ll probably need it!