Skip to Content

Mom, If You Want to Keep Me…

So, we’re sitting on the couch watching the MTV movie awards an educational program on PBS, and my daughter says, “Mom if you want to keep me, then you have to make sure nothing bad happens to me ever.

Oh no. What is she talking about?

So, I ask her, “Halle, what do you mean by badness?”

Well, like this:

  • Make sure I don’t eat spicy food.


Oh, I can definitely do that. No problem there! But, then… she says there’s more.

  • Like don’t let me get chased by a dinosaur.


Dinosaur chases, we’re good. As long as that small old man with the Amber in his cane from Jurassic Park doesn’t ACTUALLY use bird DNA to make scary velociraptors, then that’s definitely within my power. Oh, she has more though!

  • You can’t let me wear huge glasses.


Oh, of course Halle! I mean you don’t want to end up looking like those scary girls from the Hills with their tiny noses. But, then she tells me there’s another thing…

  • Well, you need to make sure that no giant tomatoes hit me.


WHOA! Has she already SEEN The Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. I better make sure she doesn’t–because apparently there’s already a real threat there! Finally, she tells me that she has one final thing, and here I’m thinking this must be the real one that’s going to make me feel like I’m not doing my job as a mom. Here it goes…

  • You have to make sure they never all happen at the same time!


Oh, Halle I promise never to make you eat spicy food while wearing huge glasses and being chased by a dinosaur and I throw giant tomatoes at you!

The Many Hairstyles of Halle
Past or Present