To the two friends who called me today.

Not text… these two friends actually text me all day every day– but the phone calls. The actual phone calls until I picked up.

I love you. A lot. I was having one of those days where the same songs on repeat were just playing too often and I couldn’t come up with a good playlist and all the tv shows were starting to sound the same, and your sweet voices in my ears today were exactly what I needed. Thank you.

To the friends who text me all day every day,

I love you. So very much. You’re the reason I can get on my phone. And the thing is this– it’s really important I spend time on my phone in a productive working style way and not in like a sad doom scrolling way. When you guys send me these sorts of messages, telling me all about your day– maybe even you just send me a picture of whatever you’re looking at right then or a silly meme. Maybe you just want to check in on me. Who knows? You are exactly what I need right now. Thank you.

To the friends that give me random projects.

I love you. Holy moly a lot. Maybe it’s a squat challenge that I am suddenly recording every single day of the week, or maybe it’s some random social media help you need or like an entire re-categorization of your blog, or whatever it is, it occupies my brain in the times and in the moments when it needs to be occupied with anything at all other than– well, I started to write out what all it is occupied with, and that isn’t productive at all. So I am just going to say, thank you. This is exactly what I need right now.

To the friends that like and comment on my statuses.

Wow do I love you. Some of you have never even met me in real life. Some of you I don’t even KNOW because you just follow me and we aren’t even actual friends– yet here you are showing up for me when I say dumb stuff like I haven’t finished my squats today (100 left yikes) or that I no longer like the cheesy hashbrown bagel with garden veggie cream cheese from Einstein Bros and I need a new hyper fixation food. I can’t tell you how much I need this right now. Seriously.

To the friends who show up and take me on crazy adventures.

Stop. I love you so freaking much. Like SO much. You know who you are. And you know that when I sent out the SOS for randomness, you were there. Maybe it was a breakfast under a bridge, or maybe it was a trip to a casino town, or maybe it’s parking bikes and doing squats together… it doesn’t matter. You’re the reason I can get up right now. You’re the things I look forward to. I need you. I don’t think I’ve ever really said that to a friend before. But I do, and the fact that you’re there? I just… I don’t know how to even say thank you for that. I guess, I just do… thank you.

Right now, there’s so much happening. It’s all fast, and it’s all scary and it’s all a lot. My ex is pushing every button of mine he can, and you guys know I am not the greatest when it comes to button pushing. I have a lot of breathing exercises to do, and a lot of words in my head I need to put on paper, so maybe… just maybe with the help of you guys, I’ve got this?

Thank you.