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You Can Get A 26-Pound Gummy Snake For Your Next Party

Oh my sweet Nope Rope goodness! What is this delicious Party Python that is on the Amazon website?

Courtesy of Amazon

It may look like a child’s play toy, but what you are looking at is nearly EIGHT FEET of Gummy Goodness. I’m not even joking.

Courtesy of Amazon

Y’all. That’s freaking TWENTY SIX POUNDS of Gummy Snake perfection!

Courtesy of Amazon

At over 400 servings per snake, you can feast on this big guy for quite a long while! He has a shelf life of twelve months, but I bet he’ll be gone long before that!

Courtesy of Amazon

The questions and answers, as well as the reviews on this big guy are hilarious!

Question:Does the stud muffin who is modeling the gummy deliciousness come with the snake? I’d like some eye candy to share mine with.

Answer: He absolutely does. Unfortunately though it’s more of a hallucination after digesting so much delicious gummy snake that your body shuts down and goes into a diabetic coma and your family has to resort to sending in ant man to help push all that gummy snake down and out of you before you become a member of the zebra tribe that creates these delicious snakes.

Amazon
Courtesy of Amazon

I debated between buying this gummy worm, or an IV filled with the blood of a diabetic. I chose the gummy worm, best decision of my life. Not only do I not need friends because this gummy worm is always there for me (I mean come on, would you eat this?). Secondly, I can always rely on this heavy piece of gelatin to weigh down my papers and other miscellaneous loose objects on my desk, where I fill out the paperwork for shenanigans such as burning down African villages and field trips to war torn Vietnam. Again, 10/10 would buy again. 4/5 stars because I haven’t poop for 3 months.

Caleb Stoudt, Amazon Reviews
Courtesy of Amazon

This Gummy Python will only cost you $0.29 an ounce — of course, at over 26 pounds, that is $120. But, it’s a freaking 8-foot Gummy Python!

Courtesy of Amazon

Also, BONUS, it ships for FREE! You HAVE to get this for you next party. You will totally be the hero!

Courtesy of Amazon

As long as you are already at Amazon, you may as well check out this 5-pound bag of Sour Patch candy. You can LIVE on sweets for days!

Courtesy of Amazon

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