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You’re The Reason Your Salmon Sucks

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You’re the reason your salmon sucks. No, no, it’s true. Maybe you’ve even convinced yourself you hate salmon…a delicious meat…and that you can’t understand why anyone would want to eat it in the first place. And it’s all your fault that you feel this way. Unless you really just don’t like salmon. If you don’t, feel free to go away now. For those of you who are left, here are 5 Tips For Cooking Perfect Salmon. Because…and here’s the truth…it’s really Easy to cook. No, really. Stop laughing. It is. And I’m going to walk you through how to do it!

Ever wondered why salmon tastes so gross? It's probably how you're cooking it! Click now!

1. Pick a decent filet. Salmon isn’t the kind of fish you want to skimp on. It really is a ‘get what you paid for’ kind of fish. So fork up the dough or get stuck with crappy, mushy fish.

good salmon

2. Cook it ‘fresh’. I know, I know, we live in a world of convenience and everyone wants to buy food they can freeze for later. For the love of all things foodie – don’t freeze your salmon. Thing is, it’s already been frozen once – unless you waded into the water during spawning season and grabbed one bear-style – so freezing it again is just going to break down the protein structures even more. Buy salmon you plan on cooking that same night. That’s the best bet.

salmon fishing

3. Leave the skin on the filet. In salmon, there’s a ton of flavor in the skin. So when you take the skin off before cooking it, you’re taking away all that flavor. Don’t do it. Don’t be like Buffalo Bill. It leaves the salmon in it’s skin, or else it gets gross fish again.

Buffalo Bill

4. Don’t overcook it. If you’re one of those people who needs to cook things to well-done, salmon is NOT for you. Salmon is best when the filet breaks into easy chunks with a fork. If you overcook it, it gets harder, drier, gross. Leave the overcooking for cheaper fish…please don’t torture the salmon.

censored salmon image

5. Cook last. When you’re planning your meal, it’s easy to lose track of how long things take to cook and just toss the meat in first. Salmon only takes a few minutes to cook. So plan ahead. Cook your starch first, chop up the veggies. Your fish will only take about 15-minutes, so make sure you only start cooking it 15-minutes before everyone’s at the table and ready to eat.

broiled salmon

Easiest Salmon Ever

So if you’ve read all the above tips, I feel I can entrust you with my go-to, perfect every time salmon-cooking method.

Start with filets cut into sections that are approximately 2 1/2 inches to 3 inches wide, and between 4 – 6 inches long. This is the standard size filet you can buy at most seafood counters.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Line a cooking pan with aluminum foil.

Lay salmon filets on the pan, skin side down.

Apply a citrus and brown sugar rub (see below) to the top of the fish.

Once the oven is preheated, put the salmon in and let cook for fifteen minutes.

Remove from oven and slide a spatula between the salmon and the skin to remove salmon from the pan. This keeps the skin on the aluminum foil where it can be tossed in the trash, and gives you a nice, clean filet to serve.

Place on plate and serve immediately. Enjoy!

salmon shot

Citrus and Brown Sugar Rub

Look, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel with this. Sure, sure, you can make your own rub, but unless you really just have tons of time feel free to go with a good store-bought rub instead. Colorado Spice Citrus Dill Salmon Rub is my favorite and I keep my kitchen stocked with it. Also, it’s available at most seafood counters. So for the salmon described above, simply mix this pre-made spice with 1 tablespoon of brown sugar. That’s it. There’s already brown sugar in the rub, so if you don’t want to add extra, that’s fine. I just like mine a little bit on the sweet side. Also, feel free to lie and tell everyone you made it from scratch using an old family recipe. They never have to know and I won’t tell.

citrus dill salmon rub

You're The Reason Your Salmon Sucks

You're The Reason Your Salmon Sucks

Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 15 minutes

Perfect salmon every time.

Ingredients

  • salmon filets
  • citrus dill rub

Instructions

  1. So if you've read all the above tips, I feel I can entrust you with my go-to, perfect every time salmon-cooking method.
  2. Start with filets cut into sections that are approximately 2 1/2 inches to 3 inches wide, and between 4 - 6 inches long. This is the standard size filet you can buy at most seafood counters.
  3. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
  4. Line a cooking pan with aluminum foil.
  5. Lay salmon filets on the pan, skin side down.
  6. Apply a citrus and brown sugar rub (see below) to the top of the fish.
  7. Once the oven is preheated, put the salmon in and let cook for fifteen minutes.
  8. Remove from oven and slide a spatula between the salmon and the skin to remove salmon from the pan. This keeps the skin on the aluminum foil where it can be tossed in the trash, and gives you a nice, clean filet to serve.
  9. Place on plate and serve immediately. Enjoy!

 

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11 Comments

  1. I have no idea how people made this salmon , because there is no recipe anywhere on this recipe for the rub.

  2. F you i am a great chef and cook salmon perfectly. Everybody who has had my salmon who likes the specific taste of salmon thinks its amazing. I dont like the flavor of salmon and that is why it sucks just like you. I HATE your flavor. Go to hell you jerk

    1. @You are a clown, uh oh someone needs a hug. Can you show us on the doll where your uncle touched you?

  3. I never read the ‘blog bit’..usually just “skip to Recipe” but this one got me! Great writing, very funny…. not a lover of salmon but you got me wanting to give it another go!

  4. “3. Leave the skin on the filet. In salmon, there’s a ton of flavor in the skin.”

    Then you proceed to give a recipe where you throw the skin in the trash. Ya ok.

  5. I have to admit I’m not much of a fan of fish and usually have to have it slathered in sauces. However, salmon is really starting to grow on me. Both my husband and my brother seem to have their salmon cooking methods perfected and they seems to have a lot of similarities to your method. I like my fish a littler on the sweeter side too so I might have suggest that rub next time.
    Thanks for sharing with us at the #HomeMattersParty link party.

  6. I love topping my salmon with brown sugar. I usually get a large piece as it seems to have more flavor than the individual filets. #SITSGirls

  7. Regardless of whether you like salmon or not, cook or not, or just like to laugh, this is a fantastically written article packed with humor. Unfortunately I couldn’t find a name credential. I would love to know who wrote this. I subscribed to receive your newsletter solely due to finding and reading this article. And FYI I did try cooking my salmon as directed in this recipe and it was terrific.

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