So, you know how there is a vaccine for EVERYTHING, these days? I mean from the measles to chicken pox. Now don’t get me wrong, if vaccines are what you’re into, you should totally get them! Especially for the big nasties like the FREAKING PLAGUE. But really, the flu? Do you really need to get a vaccine to protect yourself from the common flu?
If you have ever had the flu, you already know where I am going with this. But please read on, cause there are people out there who believe it or not, still don’t understand the truth about the flu shot, and what it does. So here are 5 Reasons Why You Don’t Need the Flu Shot
1. Survival of the fittest Baby
Of course you don’t need the flu shot. You’ve got a good strong immune system and whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. Until of course your eyes are bleeding and you’ve got rocket poop the likes haven’t been seen since that one time in College….
2. You’re tough as nails!
You are all that and a bag of chips! No tiny little flu is gonna get the better of you. What flu bug? Just go to the gym and work it out! Eat clean, puree some kale. Oh but wait, rocket poop.
3. Sick is sexy.
Nothing, and I mean nothing is more attractive than the sound of someone swallowing their own snot. I betcha every hot blooded adult in this hemisphere , ah heck, I will say it, Universe, is full of admiration and longing for that fevered body, sweaty brow, pasty complexion, and let’s not forget that rocket poop.
4. Vaccines are For Wimps!
Nevermind the rest of the population! All the immunocomprompised people in the world are just going to have to fend for themselves. The babies, the elderly, those who just aren’t strong enough to take care of themselves and withstand the flu shot or any illness. And if you feel this way at all, I wish you many long horrible days of rocket poop.
5. You can get a free t-shirt!
Ok, I made that last one up. But seriously, don’t you think there should be a company out there somewhere that provides free t-shirts that say something really clever like “I had the flu, made all of my friends and family sick, killed some old lady, three small children and my cousins budgie because I am too good, strong and smart for the flu shot! And there was rocket poop!”
After surviving the plague this year, next fall I am totally getting the flu shot!