My Insomnia About The State Of The World Is Real, But What Can I Do?

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I’m so stressed out about everything going on in the world that I’m not sleeping.

I lay there at night, trying to turn off my brain, but all the death and disaster just replays in my mind like a song on repeat.

Once I finally get to sleep, I wake up a couple hours later, and then can’t fall back asleep for hours — sometimes I’m up the entire night.

In my everyday, go to work, pick up the kids from school, go home and cook dinner, clean up the house, binge watch Good Girls on Netflix life, I don’t feel stressed at all.

I mean, I hear the news. I think, “That’s awful.” But, I go about my day as if I don’t really have a care in the world.

I have conversations with people. I laugh. I joke. I have heart-to-heart talks with my teenager. I have simple, normal days.

I push all the fear and worry about what’s going on in the world into a little ball and bury it way down deep in the pit of my stomach.

It’s not until I lay there, trying to sleep, that all the combined thoughts of the evil, death, disaster, and destruction going on in the world breaks free from its tightly confined ball in the pit of my soul and takes over my every thought.

I try to tell myself, “It’s so far away.” “It won’t happen here.” “I don’t know anyone that was there.” But yet, I still lay there wide eyed and terrified.

Part of my fear is for that of my family. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to them.

Part of my fear is for myself. I sure don’t want to go through a disaster. I don’t want anyone coming over and taking control of everything in my life. I don’t want to feel the pain, fear, panic, and loss that goes along with it all.

Part of my fear is because I feel so helpless. I am but one person. What can I do to help the enormity of the weight that is hanging over the entire world?

Part of my fear is due to the fact that I WANT to help out, but don’t. In my mind, I say, “There is nothing I can do, anyway. I’ll just leave it to other people to work out.”

But, is that really true?

No, I’m actually asking you. Is that really true?

I’m not rich. If I were, I would be throwing tons of money at the causes, and hoping the monetary donation would help.

I’m not free to just leave. If I were, I’d pack up my car, drive to Louisiana, and help with the cleanup and devastation.

I don’t think I’m overly smart. If I were, I’d think of a way out of all this mess.

But, I can’t keep laying here at night, wide awake, and dwelling on all the bad things.

What can I do from here?

I can volunteer, and do, at some place like the Salvation Army or Habitat For Humanity, but how can I really make a difference beyond my own backyard?

I can donate, but will my meager sum even make a dent?

I guess the answer to all these things is “Yes.”

I should volunteer. Maybe I’ll free up someone who can go help on the frontlines.

If I even have $5 to spare, I should donate it. Just think, if EVERYONE donated just $5, they’d have enough money to really get some things done.

These are the things I think about while I lay wide awake at night.

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