My Kid Caught My Husband And I Doing The Deed

We should have locked the door.

But we didn’t.

We should have waited until we were sure he was asleep.

But we didn’t.

My tween walked right in on us, and I am not even sure he looked up. “Mom, my ear hurts…”

And that’s when my husband jumped off of me in a move so stunning he’s now considering applying for Cirque Du Soleil.

“What, baby?” I start grasping for my comforter. Where was that damn thing anyway? How did it end up on the floor? I was still trying to comprehend how he was standing in the doorway. I mean, we remembered to put the dog in his crate, how did we forget this?

“Are you guys okay?” His ear was suddenly the least of his problems. Which, I totally get. Me too.

“We’re fine.” My husband replied, a little out of breath, either from the sex or his newfound career as an acrobat, I am not super sure.

Somehow we managed to get under the covers. Looking like some sort of post-coital soap opera scene. Things were so unmistakable. Music playing, mood lighting, underwear strewn about.

“Just go… sit in the living room. I will be there in a few seconds.”

My son turned around, my husband leapt in a single bound toward the door. He really was quite graceful.

“Do you think he saw?” I ask, not really wanting an answer.

“No, I think he came down here blindfolded…” My husband was not nearly as amused as me.

I grabbed some yoga pants and a T-shirt. “I am just not going to say anything. I am pretty sure the best plan here is to feign complete ignorance.”

But, my son wasn’t having any of it. As I walked out in the living room to check on him, before I could even ask about his ear he responded, “Oh, nice to see you found your clothes.”

Sigh… at least he knows his parents love each other.