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Chris Pratt And Anna Faris Splitting Up Is The Adult Version Of Finding Out Santa Isn’t Real

When we marry our sweetheart most of the time we’re young, kinda dumb, and basically broke. I mean, a lot of us, at least. Let’s get real: most of us do not have the fairytale marriage that we dreamed of when we were five. You know, that marriage we practiced out with the Barbie and …

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The History Of Krampus’s Gal-Pal, Frau Perchta: The Belly-Slitter

In the last few years Santa Claus’ darker half, Krampus, has enjoyed a resurgence in popularity. The delightful half goat, half demon punishes where Santa Claus rewards. But he’s not the only other Christmas time folklore figure that kids can look forward to a visit from this holiday season. The History Of Krampus’s Gal-Pal, Frau …

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Santa Is Creepier Than The Creepiest Clown

When I was little, we couldn’t even go to the mall after Thanksgiving. The department stores were okay, Mom tells me, but as soon as we approached the main mall where SANTA CLAUS was, I’d start screaming like I was being murdered. Now that Santa shows up around Halloween, I can’t let it dominate my …

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What To Do When You’re Sick Of Santa (And Christmas In General)…

When my dad was a kid, he and his brother got these barber-pole sized peppermint candy canes in their Christmas stockings. Being boys, and being presented with more candy than they probably saw all year—because it was the olden days, when he had to walk to school in a snowstorm, uphill both ways—they each ate …

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Premature Christmas Decorating Killed My Christmas Spirit

The day after Halloween my coworker put up her Christmas tree. I was like, “Ha ha, what a weirdo.” In my head. I’m not a butthole. Then another coworker chimed in that she’d put hers up, too. AND she was going over to her mother’s house that night to help HER put up her tree. …

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Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer Is The WORST Christmas Song EVER!

“You know Dasher, and Dancer, and Prancer, and Vixen…Comet, and Cupid, and Donner, and Blitzen…but do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?” So let’s just take a moment and talk about this, the absolute worst of all the Christmas songs. First, I get that you may not agree with me. You might have …

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How To Tell Your Kids The Truth About Santa

My daughter is in the fifth grade, so she’s known the truth about the whole SANTA thing for a while. But, when it came up I was completely unprepared. We were getting our nails done right before Easter, and she leaned over to me across her pedicure chair. “Mom, tell it to me straight– there’s …

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How To Help Your Sensitive Child Deal During The Holidays

Growing up, there were certain situations that were always harder for me than for my brothers. I’d shrink away from loud parties, or start crying the second certain commercials came on, or basically have an emotional breakdown anytime I thought I disappointed anyone…and we (my family) just chocked it up to my personality. As an …

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