5 Conversations That’ll Be Happening At Every Table This Thanksgiving (and how to get out of them)

Thanksgiving is coming. And for some this means turkey, stuffing, and all the pie they can eat, but for others it means a hotbed of uncomfortable conversations and relatives who believe WAY different things than they do.

This year, especially, it’s as if the world has ganged up to make the dinner table even more awful than normal. Like, seriously, as if normal Thanksgiving issues weren’t enough (who’s gonna carve the turkey, what to do when your MIL takes over) we’ve got TONS of things in the news to make your awful Uncle Sal even more unbearable.

So here are 5 Conversations That’ll Be Happing At Every Table This Thanksgiving (and how to get out of them).

5 Conversations That’ll Be Happening At Every Table This Thanksgiving (and how to get out of them)

1. Donald Trump – We all have at least one relative who supports him. It’s horrifying, but debating it isn’t going to make dinner any less awkward. Instead, every time his name comes up check on the turkey. Basically, they’re the same thing so it’s like your family will be reminding you to keep that bird from burning.

2. A Business Opportunity – Someone in your family is bound to be part of some pyramid scheme MLM and will inevitably talk it up, say you should join and try to get you to buy something. Just say you’re willing to take a look at it sometime at a later time and basically make that time never.

3. Your Ex – Ugh. Look, the only thing you can really do about this one is offer for everyone to go outside and play football. That way, you get to throw something at your awful relatives.

4. Black Friday – Who doesn’t love Black Friday? Oh, yeah, half of your relatives. Best thing to do is smile pretty and gently caress the beautiful television you got for 90% off last Black Friday. Some people just don’t know a bargain when they’re staring it in the screen.

5. Embarrassing Childhood Stories – This one especially will come up if you’re in a new relationship, or if your boss or someone else important from your life is there. These are the stickiest of the holiday conversations we all want to avoid. For one, the more you dodge them, the more your family is going to be fueled to tell them. Best to pick one that isn’t As embarrassing for you, and start telling it over their super embarrassing story. Then, offer pie. Lots. Of. Pie.

Look, family relationships are hard especially as we get older. We all form our own opinions about hot button topics and gathering under one roof is likely to make your relatives try to one up each other.

The best, truly best, advice I can offer is that this only happens one (or twice) a year. As much as you want what you believe to make an impression on these people, fighting on Thanksgiving is only going to make you all miserable.

So since you know you can’t control them, just try your best to control your reaction to them. And if nothing else just remember that in a few short hours they’ll be gone and you’ll be knee deep in Christmas decorations and leftover pie.