Okay, for starters. I love the word gross. I appreciate how it’s just one of those words that sounds like what it means.
Gross. It rolls around in your mouth almost like you’re gonna yak right there.
Earlier today, we were running errands and my four year old ended up scoring us some free lollipops with her cuteness.*
So, I was standing in the parking lot talking to a friend while we were both eating our suckers and it dawned on me: Lollipops are straight up the most germ infested, funky candy ever.
We stick those things in our mouth, and then we pull them out. They’re all covered in our spit and whatever else is in the mouth.
(I can only assume it’s those tiny bugs on my artist’s rendering above.)
At one point, I actually caught myself enunciating my point with my cherry sucker. How nasty is that?
Why are we eating these things?
Why are we handing them to our little children?
Have you ever seen what a kid does with a lollipop?
One time I caught my daughter sharing hers with my Pomeranian.
I just wish they weren’t so damn delicious.