I’m a bright woman. If you’re reading this, you probably are, too. So know that I’m not writing this with pride, but with the great chagrin that comes from doing absolutely dumb-dumb things from time to time and feeling like we have to get them off our chests. My most recent dumb-dumb thing? I brushed my teeth with Desitin.
It was one of those mornings where things were already off to a bad start from the word go. We’d been having bad storms (hello Texas hail) and the power was knocked out. No problem, except that I had an early morning appointment I HAD to make it to. I figured the power would come back on in no time, so I shuffled off toward the bathroom with plans to do my best taking a shower in the dark, and deal with the clothing issue with my iPhone flashlight if it came to that.
The shower was cold.
It didn’t dawn on me until I got into it that no power meant no heat for the shower.
Or at least that’s what I thought when I shivered under that icy spray. I found out later that it was cold because the water heater went out overnight, but that was a different problem for a different day…
As quickly as I could, I scrubbed myself, washed my hair, and forwent shaving, then hopped out and into the warmth of my nice, big, comfy robe and slippers. Good. Wrapped my hair in a towel, grabbed my toothbrush and then IT happened.
Until it happened, I never realized how much a tube of Desitin feels like a tube of toothpaste. The answer is: a lot. Especially when your fingers are already cold and slightly numb from the coldest shower ever.
The weird thing is it takes a minute for your brain to kick in and realize that it’s Desitin and not toothpaste. It. Was. Awful.
By the time I figured it out, I had Desitin smeared all over my teeth and tongue. In truth it probably only took about a second, but since I was already in a hurry, I brushed those puppies fast. Oh. My. God.
The worst taste ever. Plus, since the Desitin was now on my toothbrush, I had no way to rebrush my teeth to get the taste out.
Know what’s hard to get off of a toothbrush? Desitin. Know what’s hard to get off of your teeth and tongue? Desitin.
That stuff is waterproof. It’s perfect for diaper rashes because it literally forms a barrier to keep water out. But the one time I really REALLY needed water to get in, nothing worked. I scraped my fingernails over my tongue. Used wads of toilet paper. Tried just mouthwash. Nothing got that stuff off.
To this day I swear SWEAR to you I can still taste Desitin when I close my eyes. It is not good.
Finally, I used a wash cloth and managed to get as much of it off as humanly possible before heading out to Wal-Greens to buy a new toothbrush.
All I’m saying is, do yourself a favor: if you’ve got Desitin in the house, store it as far away from the toothpaste as humanly possible. This is not a mistake I’ll ever forget, nor is it one you’d ever want to experience.
Tell us about your own ‘whoops’ moment in the comments below!