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I Will Cut The Next Bitch Who Adds Me To A Wedding Group

I’m adding to the list of things I wish I hadn’t done after getting engaged. First up was simply not telling anyone I was engaged.

This week it’s wedding groups.

bride

I Will Cut The Next Bitch Who Adds Me To A Wedding Group

See, I joined a couple because I figured I’d troll them for ideas, get the creative juices going. We have literally no idea what it is we’d like to do for our ceremony. I struck up a couple conversations with seemingly normal, pleasant women.

It was a scam.

A fucking scam.

They are all crazy bitches.

At least that’s what it feels like.

Here’s how the last week has gone:

First, I have a lovely conversation with a bride-to-be or a happily married lady. We laugh, we share stories, we compliment each other on our profile pictures. It’s all good. I might even like them.

Then comes the friend request.

That’s cool. I like people. And we’re in this wedding circus together, so might as well have friends, right?

Yeah, that was my mistake. Hardly anyone wants to be friends anymore.

Fast forward to the next morning and I’ve been added to, I kid you not, 36 different wedding groups that I simply must be part of!

Uh, I’m pretty sure that a Facebook group devoted to how to pack for your honeymoon is one I can live without. No lie. All the group does is talk about packing tips. Pretty sure my transient period spent being a rodeo brat taught me how to cram the maximum amount of stuff into a small bag, thanks very much.

The groups get crazier.

Put your drink down for this one…

“How to ensure your lady cave tastes great on your wedding day.”

Yes, that’s a real group.

And no, I don’t want to be part of your pineapple juice chugging cult, thanks.

Seriously, weddings make people batshit crazy. At this rate, I might just need to pull the plug on the internet until the deed is done, people.

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