Making Friends As An Adult Is Hard

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One of the things I promised myself I would do this year is make more friends. I had no idea how hard making adult friends was going to be.

making adult friends

I spend a ton of time holed up in front of my computer writing. Most of the time working from home is a good thing, but it does make it hard to get out and meet new people.

I’ve tried the coffee shop, but that didn’t work out. (READ: The Guy At The Coffee Shop Thinks I Pee In The Dark.) So I’ve kind of been at a loss.

So, when this lady who I only knew on Facebook reached out to me to have lunch, I went for it. What was the harm?

We had a ton of mutual friends. They’d all said we needed to get together and we would be instant best buds.

making adult friends

“Hey let’s meet for lunch! I am dying to meet you. Everyone we both know says we will have the most fun together.”

My first instinct was to say no. Because I am scared of new things and new people. But I had made this promise to myself to get out there more and to try and meet new people. So I said yes.

making adult friends

And then I got a little bit excited. A new friend. Someone that everyone just knew I’d have an instant connection with. I was going to make a new friend!

I spent a little longer getting ready than I should have for a friend-meeting. I wanted to make a good impression, after all. And when I got to the restaurant, dare I say I was nervous?

making adult friends

Okay, yeah I was totally nervous. This was a big deal for me. I was opening myself up. Putting myself out there.

When she arrived, things went okay. She told me about what she did for a living. We talked a little about her kids, and then it happened…

Right as the server brought out the noodles, she pounced.

“I’ve wanted to start a blog forever. I am so glad you came to lunch. I want you to tell me everything it takes to be a successful blogger.”

I almost choked on my ravioli. What? Is that why we are here? Not to get to know each other? This isn’t a friend date?

making adult friends

I was completely unprepared to walk someone through my job point by point. I was trying to enjoy my pasta. But, I was in the thick of it, so I tried to answer.

But my answer wasn’t good enough. She pulled out a pen and paper. “Could you just write it down for me?”

And because I am awful at saying no, I found myself literally writing out a bullet list for how to get started as a blogger.

“You know,” I tried to gently interject, because I didn’t want any more homework, “you can’t just start this and be successful over night. My blog is over ten years old…”

making adult friends

“Oh, I am not worried about that. I do everything on hyper drive.”

Yeah, I was starting see that.

So, I finished out my bullet point list, and agreed we’d meet up next week so she could check in with me and let me know how things go.

Something tells me I won’t be making that meeting.

making adult friends

I mean, I guess it wasn’t all about me telling her how to do my job. She did have a little piece of advice for me.

She told me I worked too much, and should volunteer more.


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