Why Online Mommy Trolls Are The Meanest Of ALL The Trolls

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So we all know about cyber trolls…bullies who wander the web looking for people to mess with. Well, there’s a breed that I hadn’t thought about until recently, and they are the worst of the worst. See, while normal trolls flit from post to post leaving mean comments for all to read, mommy trolls up the ante: they comment under the guise of caring. Mommy trolls are MEAN and if you are one, I REALLY wish you’d go take care of your kids and step away from the keyboard. Seriously, you just need to go and find a life.


Why Online Mommy Trolls Are The Meanest Of ALL The Trolls

So here is my experience with these vilest of creatures… I work from home, writing things from the heart meant to reach out to readers in a meaningful way. And yes, some of my posts are pointed, and on those posts I totally understand the negative comments.

But then the personal attacks start. Mommies coming at me commenting about things that they really shouldn’t comment about. And maybe it’s that THEY felt attacked that makes them attack back, who knows, but these woman take things too far.

Take, for instance, when mommy trolls (I shall start calling them Moles from here forward) started attacking a sweet post my friend wrote about her daughter. They called her daughter fat. Hopeless. Said she had no future.

The kid is 10.

Moles should never, EVER be allowed to say things like that about a ten-year-old! C’mon!

It’s like they carry a diaper bag in one hand, and a bazooka in the other.

For me the tipping point…the whole reason I’m writing this…are all the attacks about how I don’t have kids.

Now, to be fair, I’ve been very clear up until this point about my fertility issues and the fact that it breaks my heart that I’ve never been able to carry a baby. That doesn’t mean I don’t have kids in my life. In fact, I am surrounded by kids to the point that my family calls me Mary Poppins. I’ve got nieces and nephews out the wazoo and I’ve had a hand in helping raise (in my home, thankyousomuch) three non-related kids.

But I can’t carry.

Which shouldn’t matter, but to the MOLES it makes All The Difference In The World.

The other day I was told it was best I couldn’t have children, because I’d probably just kill them.

I’ve been told I should kill myself so I don’t accidentally conceive.

I’ve been told that until I’m able to give birth on my own, I should shut the front door (less nice language was used).

The most painful, though, was the one who wrote that the baby I lost probably died in-utero to escape being born to me because I’m just horrible.

All of this is awful. Very unfair. Very uncalled for. But more than that…what message is it giving to other women? How many other women read these comments and internalize the attacks? How many are in similar situations to my own and start to feel as if the attacks are not only directed toward me, but toward every woman like me.

It’s vile.

So you know how we’re told not to feed the trolls? I say eff that. I want to feed them Se7en style. Like, just strap them to a chair and shovel spaghetti down their mean Mole throats and wait for them to pop.

Because, seriously, at this point I don’t know what else would stop them.

And while I won’t quit writing, I really do wish I could whack-a-Mole…whack her right upside her judgy-judgy mean mommy troll head.

Have you ever been trolled? Ever been cyber-bullied? Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with the mean moms on Facebook and other social media? Leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments below!

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  1. I read very interesting book on the subject entitled “The Fine Art of Internet Troll Slaying’. Quite a good read.

  2. I am sorry that people love to hide behind a keyboard. I’m also sorry that more often than not, they have horrible grammar and punctuation! Unfortunately, when you open yourself up to the world you have to be prepared for the “opinions” that come with it and just plain mean trolls that have nothing better to do. Keep on keeping on girl! Don’t let them get to you! Just pray for them. Pray they will turn away from a life that causes the desire to rip others apart. Have a wonderful weekend!

  3. That just sucks, I love reading your posts!!! You are awesome, any child who enters your life would be so much richer, and learn a lot from you. Be strong!

  4. Mary, how awful to have had those disgusting comments said to you. Disgraceful behaviour from fellow females who should support each other not beat each other with hate speech (I’m sure those comments would never be uttered in person!) However, you speak about ‘judging’ and what message it is sending to other woman; which brings me to the blog where you whole heartedly judged mothers on the speech they use with their children.
    The whole blog is ‘judging’ mothers and sends an awful message to mums who are simply trying their best.
    Most mums are sleep deprived, tired and have a million and one chores/work to juggle and sometimes our little darlings test our patients. But hey, mums are only human and no text book is given. I strongly believe, in my opinion that nobody should be directly told that ‘you should not say this to children’.
    Unfortunately, I think all the wonderfully mummy’s out there took your blog as a personal attack on them and retaliated (never piss a mother off when they feel threatened where their children are concerned, it can turn quite nasty!)
    So fellow mummy’s, grandmothers, Aunt’s, godmother’s and the like, should support each other and say, sometimes we get it wrong, sometimes we say the wrong thing and do the wrong thing but we are all learning. Support and guide and never ever judge x

    1. I’ve just re-read your blog and I have to leave this final comment in regards to one of the sentences where you state mothers should never say: nobody will love you as much as do which you then say ‘opidpus much? – Really??? Is that the context you perceive that message is sending to a child from their mother??
      Now THAT is VILE.
      *shakes head in utter, total disbelief