This year’s Golden Globes was okay, but Fiji water girl is my new favorite person that’s ever attended any red carpet event ever, and I will fight anyone who says any different.
Who hurt you, Fiji water girl? Your face is telling so many stories here.
Wait, I might have you all wrong… maybe you’re the one doing the hurting. What do you know that I don’t?
Did he refuse your water? Maybe tell you it wasn’t actually from Fiji?
Is this about your dress, Fiji water girl? Are the three tiers supposed to represent a waterfall?
Did Fiji pay you extra to stand behind these ladies who I actually have no idea are and peep? Because if so, you should get paid double for getting that one to actually hold some water.
Are you too good for Kim Carey, Fiji water girl? I think maybe Ace Ventura was ahead of your time, so I get it. But if you have time, maybe pop that one into your Netflix queue because it’s a classic.
No, this look I get. She’s wearing the color water WAY better than you.
Why do you stand behind everyone like that? What is happening right now? Also, I do not like the ladies in tuxes look. Just sayin.
Did Amy tell you a funny joke? Was it about water?
Are you too good for the Volturi? Or are the volturi too good for you? I must know.
Do you… already know the winners? What are you staring off at here? Get this man some water! Or maybe get me some, because he’s making me thirsty.
Fiji water girl, meet desert. You two should talk. It seems like you would go well together.
ETA: You can follow her on insta. Because of course you can.