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I Feel Like The Politically Correct, Gender Neutral World Is Trying To Steal My Manhood

Remember when gender used to be simple? If you were a boy, you hated girls. If you were a girl, you hated boys. Our kids will never know the simplicity of living in a world where it was totally okay to hate someone different than you.

Over the last couple of years I’ve had to bare witness to this mucking up of a very basic gender formula. And I’m not even talking about the wacky notion of a young, plucky lady trying to have it all or a single mom making it in a man’s world, or any other ‘70’s sitcom idea you may have. We’ve now gotten to the point we’re trying to create third genders and pronouns can be considered hate speech. I tell my daughter that she’s a good girl and I’ve got the ACLU knocking on my door. Why does she have to be a good girl? Why not a good person? Jesus Christ…

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I Feel Like The Politically Correct, Gender Neutral World Is Trying To Steal My Manhood

Feminisms quest for a gender-neutral world is slowly…well, I don’t know what it does. Does is stomp it’s way into the mainstream? Stomp is too masculine. Swish it’s way? Too feminine. I don’t actually know what a ze, the new third pronoun, does. Gangly limp along, I guess. So feminisms quest for a gender-neutral world is slowly, gangly limping along into the mainstream. It’s not great for us men but it sure as hell isn’t great for women, either.

I heard a radio spot for Cover Girl today. The voice coming through my speakers sounded like a “lady” who offered to be my date in Las Vegas a few years back. That voice belonged to James Charles, the new Cover Girl model. That’s right, James. For Cover Girl. I don’t know what this chap’s story is, but he looks like the gritty reboot of a David Fincher produced Dennis The Menace. I guess Cover Girl is trying to tell me that if I use their products I’ll look like an extra from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Why hire a dude when there are literally billions of women to pick from? Is Cover Girl ashamed of its gender identity? Does it want to become Cover Person? These are questions I didn’t wake up this morning expecting to ask.

But the answer is no. No woman has a problem being a woman. If you’re a feminist, you’re proud of your sisterhood. And, FYI, if you know a guy who says that he’s ashamed of being a man, he’s only lying to you in the hopes he’ll get laid. So Cover Girl’s choice of hiring a male is solely due to some blurred idea gender identity, which, by the way, also means that a woman didn’t get a job. Because I guess that’s now feminisms endgame, less women in the workforce.

There’s nothing wrong with genders. There’s nothing wrong with being a man. There’s nothing wrong with being a woman. I don’t want my dong to define me but I also don’t want to pretend I don’t have one. I’m a man. That means something. Maybe it means I start some shit with a tall hipster after he blocks my wife’s view at a Toad The Wet Sprocket concert, which happened, or it means I forget to take my daughter to her piano practice because, shucks, I’m a forgetful TV dad, which also happened. But whatever I am, I’m not just a person. You know who’s just a person? Stormtroopers. And they suck at everything. They can’t shoot straight. They can’t find droids they’re looking for. They’re freaking useless androgynous lumps of meat and I think we’re more complex than freaking useless androgynous lumps of meat.

We’re men. We’re women. Mothers. Fathers. There’s a nobility in that no pronoun change can take away.

 

 

Halo

Monday 15th of November 2021

We are taking your masculinity. And it's working. Thanks your wonderful donation, I'll be able to add he/him pronouns to my ze/xe/they/bunny/it pronouns 😌🥰

Jo

Wednesday 22nd of February 2017

I don't believe most people want to destroy the terms 'men' and 'women' bit rather normalize both men and women doing things typically associated with the opposite gender; like men can't wear makeup for example. Because why not? I'm honestly not sure if this article is satire or not, but if it isn't, what's the matter with a man wearing makeup? I use makeup to cover up my temporary flaws, for example acne, or uneven skin tones, or to make certain features pop more, and I don't see how that's something just for women.