Have you ever been eating a nice meal and then the person next to you sounds like a cow chewing its cud? It’s enough to make you want to jump out of your seat and scream at them to chew with their mouth closed..oh wait, their mouth is closed…they just chew entirely too loud..or their food is loud, either way, I hear it and I don’t like it one bit. Or then there’s the clanking of the spoon in an empty bowl.. “Okay, Okay!!!! It’s empty!!! You got it all…. there’s no gold in that bowl, what’s next, licking it clean? Put the bowl down and walk away slowly and no one will get hurt.” Okay, fine, I’ll admit it: sometimes annoying noises send me into a rage.
When Annoying Noises Send You Into A Rage
It’s enough to give me a nervous twitch and my rage meter to hit the red zone. The rustling of plastic bags that sound like it’s being played through a bull horn in my ear.
Potato chip bags, every time a hand goes in to grab more…”Here, have a bowl to put those chips in” I honestly start to feel a little homicidal. *Insert Psycho theme music*
Need more examples? I’ve got a ton… The dog licking himself….for 20 minutes…that disgusting slurping noise. I’m constantly yelling at him, “That’s enough, you’re good, you’re clean now.”
It literally never occurred to me it was just me…except my family kept telling me, “I don’t hear that.”
Are you kidding me?
You can’t hear that annoying slurping noise?
Crumpling of paper?
Clanking of spoons?
Smacking of lips?
REALLY?!?!?! Are you freaking deaf?
Eventually my loving husband sent me an article, in an oh-so-loving way, “Here babe, you have this,” pointing out to me I have what HE believes to be a disorder called Misophonia. Because apparently he’s a doctor now, on top of being a loud chewer. You can call it whatever you like, hubby dearest, I call it annoying.
But, I read about it…agreed with some of it and accepted that I’m just one of those people who are annoyed by sounds….annoying, overbearing, amplified, constant sounds. I’ve embraced it. By this point my family has accepted my “Disorder” and look sheepishly away when I stare at them with my ‘if you don’t chew quieter I’m going to choke the life right out of you’ look. It’s amazing what a death glance can do. I have them trained well. What little I’ve looked into this disorder, I don’t think there is a cure other than Darth Vader’s death grip or wear earplugs for the rest of my life.
I guess I’ll have to endure the loud obnoxious sounds of the world. What I really need is constant music playing in my ears. I think that would be a suitable and pleasant solution…so if you need me, I’ll be listening to Metallica and pretending like you aren’t chewing on gravel.