Kindergarten was a fun time, man! Playing, napping, running, making friends, glue, glitter, and very little responsibility. Not only was it a magical and enchanting year of school, but it prepared us for the real world like no other grade could, and with the most basic things you wouldn’t really think about. In an ode …
Adulting
When I was a kid, my dad scared me like nothing else. Grown-ups might as well have been gods for all the unquestionable authority they held. Parents, teachers, cops, pastors, random strangers at the grocery store who felt it was okay to pat me on the head because I was so damn cute. Grown-ups looked …
Why did I have children? Yes, they are lovely. They bring joy to our lives, and it’s a privilege watching them blossom into adulthood. I got to be there when they started to crawl, learned to walk, said their first words, and got all teary-eyed as I ushered them off to kindergarten. I smiled outwardly …
As a 27 year old, it is safe to classify myself as an adult, since my frontal lobe has full developed and all that crap that happens when you’re over 25. One thing is for sure, I never thought this is where I would be at this age, but most of all I thought that …
In a small, tightly enclosed cubicle environment, there should be set rules: “Givens,” if you will. These courtesies should be common. However, common courtesy, like common sense, is not quite as “common” as the name would have you believe. Here are just a few of the civilities office workers should practice in order to keep …
You know what Pokemon Go is, right? Of course, you do. You have a phone and a pulse. We at Totally The Bomb happen to be fond this game like a crackhead happens to be fond of crack. It’s my estimation that in twenty years Meowths will replace the cat as the preferred “Crazy Lady” …
Spoiler warning: My life is a hot mess. Hi, I’m Sid—or Sidney—and playing tug o’ mouse is just thing that’s crazy about my life. Someone lied to be when they said there would be this grand day when I knew how to adult. I’m 31, I own a house, I’m a step-mom, there are animals …
I love that people depend on me. I mean, it’s one of my favorite things in the world that I’m able to be there for people and help them with their daily, well, whatevers. But, sometimes it stretches me so thin I feel like a rubberband about to pop. It’s like everyone wants everything all at …
Your degree is worthless. Trees have better things to be turned into than to give you a pat on the back. That’s what college degrees have turned into. It has been decreed that the only way to have a rewarding life is to get a degree and that is what allows you to have a …
Okay, so, if you’re anything like me, you were rudely awakened one late afternoon at twenty-one-years-old to the sound of your mom coming home from work and complaining that you hadn’t even gotten out of bed yet. As you pulled on your stained sweatpants and tied your dirty hair back into a ponytail, you realized: I …
I stood in front of the bank teller waiting for them to explain how it would take ten days to return $300 that they freely admitted was an error on their part and then I was crying. Red, hot, embarrassing tears. Snot. The whole nine yards. My heart was pounding, my face probably very red, …
I am going to start with this full and honest disclosure: I was a crazy kid. Like, if our lives had been filmed as a reality show, there’s a really good chance I’d still be locked away in a state mental hospital somewhere. And that’s not me making light of mental illness at all, seriously, …
It’s not that I need to live with my mom or anything, but there are definitely times Someone should be the adult of me. Like the last time I dated a guy and wanted to break up with him, it would have been nice for someone else to step in and say, “Mary can’t play …