We all know the things we say matter, but sometimes in the heat of it we say some things that are hard to take back. Today I was at the grocery store when I heard a fed-up mother yell at her kids to, “Shut the h*ll up.” I get it. We’ve all been frustrated and …
Earlier in my marriage, I played a lot of video games. A lot of video games. You might say I played enough World of Warcraft to make it a full time job (one which took money instead of giving it). You probably have opinions on what I should have been doing instead, but let’s table …
You think you know these women. You’ve organized PTA fundraisers together, shared a carpool and have helped each other out of countless binds over the years. They are your friends. Your neighbors. But they are also your rival fantasy football team owners. Forget book club, bunco night or supper club, fantasy football leagues are what …
Toddlers are cute as a bug, cuddly when they want to be and their cherubic cheeks leave your fingers twitching to pinch. As angelic (and harmless) as they appear, their super-sonic hearing can pick up on everything you say even in dog-whistle decibels. Especially the words you hiss through clenched teeth when you accidentally slam the …
I’ve written before about how easy it is to be a wonderful dad. To be a wonderful dad, all you have to do is just be there. I’m great at just being there. My kids love me. I’m also a great husband. I buy my wife Ben & Jerry’s when she’s had a long day. …
Anybody remember the rotary phone? How about the ‘harvest gold’ coloured appliances you grew up with in your home? Or the ‘Light Bright’ or that hideously creepy Hugo doll? If any of these stir up memories, you were likely a child of the seventies and the early eighties. Ever wonder how your Mom managed without …
Last night over Spongebob-shaped chicken noodle soup, my five-year-old daughter asked me the BIG question. She gave me the doe-eyed look that I’ve come to learn means I’m about to impart my vast knowledge of the world upon her. “Mom, where do babies come from?” I choked on a wheat thin and prepared my best truthish-lie. (It’s …
When you’re a mother, every day is an adventure. A trip to Target can be the chore you’ve been dreading because you’re a tired, working mom or the only contact you’ll have with the outside world because you’re a stay-at-home mom who’s running dangerously low on toilet paper. But while you’re there, see if you …
I didn’t notice when Mommy Wars became a thing. It may have always been a thing…but I haven’t always been a Mommy, so there’s that. People have been opinionated and right(eous) for a very long time, so maybe Mommies have been warring over who is doing it better for just as long. There is however …
As it turns out, the day after Mother’s Day is the most fun time to be a mom on Twitter. Inspired by a segment on the comedy game show @midnight with Chris Hardwick, fans tweeted the show their best parody songs about their moms using the hashtag #MomSongs. The results were, well…pretty accurate: I Wanna …
The very existence of our species is based on the survival of the fittest. The forming of tribes. The pooling of resources. The establishment of hierarchy. Whether in the cave, on the battlefield, in the boardroom, or the classroom, four billion years of evolution has proven one thing–the strong might absorb the week. But none …
The old ball and chain and I take our 2 year old to a Mommy and Me gymnastics class every Saturday morning at 9am. In a former life I was a gymnastics coach, so I have taught the very same class, although at a different gym. Let me tell you, I have a whole new appreciation for …
So we all know about cyber trolls…bullies who wander the web looking for people to mess with. Well, there’s a breed that I hadn’t thought about until recently, and they are the worst of the worst. See, while normal trolls flit from post to post leaving mean comments for all to read, mommy trolls up …
I don’t know what it is about me, but other moms just don’t like me, or at least they don’t want to talk to me at the bus stop. It might be the area I’m in. Maybe it’s because I look really young (to be fair, I am a young mom). Maybe it’s because I have …
From decluttering, to choosing an agent, to packing your entire life into portable containers, there are few things in life more stressful than moving. Whether you’ve accepted a job in a new city, just finished construction on your dream home or you’re dodging eviction, no matter what way you slice it, moving bites a dirty …
While I have a great relationship with my mother, we didn’t exactly bond over Saturday afternoon window shopping or lessons on how to apply the appropriate amount of lip stick. There are definitely some things my mother should’ve told me… Being raised in the 40’s and 50’s and within a highly conservative environment, the feminist …
This might be a personal missive, I’m not sure yet, so before you get your pitchforks and torches out, know that I’m writing this with love…and mostly to my two breastfeeding sister-in-laws. Look, ladies (gives SIL’s a stern look), I love that you breastfeed. I am all for you popping those big ol’ mama jamas …
Most of the time my kids are awesome, but molding adolescents into responsible adults can be a challenge that will test the patience of a saint. After a long week at the office, running errands, acting as family chauffeur and short order cook, I want nothing more than to kick back and have a nice …
Dear Freaker-Outers: Honestly, I’m not sure if I should even go on talking to y’all, because you’ve already decided to hate what I have to say and you’re planning ways to tell me I’m evil. So for you – move on. Seriously. Just go read another article or something. Here’s a picture of a rollerblading penis …