What do you do when your child comes to you and says, I’m bored? If you’re like most parents, you start to try to help them come up with ways to alleviate their boredom. You name off ten, twenty options and each is met with eye-rolls or long-suffering sighs. And at some point you give …
Kindergarten was a fun time, man! Playing, napping, running, making friends, glue, glitter, and very little responsibility. Not only was it a magical and enchanting year of school, but it prepared us for the real world like no other grade could, and with the most basic things you wouldn’t really think about. In an ode …
I am the queen of negative self talk. I can find things about myself and talk myself into a feeling of self pity in less than two seconds. I could list a plethora of things I say to myself all the time, but I’m going to stick to five of the main ones. Here are …
Why do we hold celebrities to a higher standard than we do ourselves? I mean, if they were politicians, then I would understand how their decisions can be detrimental to their careers. That line of thinking makes sense to me; it is rational because they have influence over our lives. Do celebrities have any influence …
My grandpa had me out helping him work on his little Honda Civic when I was 4 and 5 years old. I knew the difference between a flathead screw driver a Phillips, metric and standard sockets, and open ended wrenches before I was 6. He had me handing him tools and showed me what the …
I look down at my hands splayed on the blue granite of the bathroom counter. This is the part of the day I hate the most. I don’t want to face my reflection in the mirror. I know what I look like. I have memorized the fine lines and wrinkles that are starting to show …
Currently it’s May 1st, almost 2pm. I’ve cried four or five times for no reason, I feel like the Apathy Monster has swallowed me and the poor people in my life are shifting into Do Something Mode to throw me a life line. In some sort of odd happenstance, this is all going down on …
Earlier in my marriage, I played a lot of video games. A lot of video games. You might say I played enough World of Warcraft to make it a full time job (one which took money instead of giving it). You probably have opinions on what I should have been doing instead, but let’s table …
It’s 2017, and by now I’ve seen a hundred different, “New year, new me!” and “My top Ten Resolutions for the Year!” type posts, blogs and instagram shots. Just…no. I Resolve To NOT There’s some kind of weird Kool-aid people drink at the dawn of every new year, as though the turning of a calendar …
October is here, and with the crisp weather and the promise of Halloween on the wind comes the traditional horror movie marathons. We watch in giddy anticipation of the hapless hero stumbling upon a murder in progress. Then we yell at the screen when they idiotically run upstairs instead of outside to the already running …
Everybody lies to you when you’re a kid. Doesn’t matter if it’s “Santa Claus is coming” or “this medicine tastes good”, or even “you can be whatever you want when you grow up”. It’s all a manipulative pile of deceit. And you would think that when you grow up the lies would stop. You know …
It sucks feeling old in my thirties. Before those of you who have made it past level 32 of this crazy game called “Life” want to write me off as a punk kid, hear me out. At the tender age of 32 I realized that I’m getting old…er. I’m not saying that my bursitis is …
I recently spent nearly a week where my main focus each day was voiding my bowels. It sounds gross, but if you’ve ever been constipated you know what an all consuming thing it can be. It’s like a literal thorn in your side. Or, well, a cork in your you-know-where. Even laying in bed can …
It all starts out casual. Your child gets invited to a playdate and the mom has wine and cheese set out for all the other parents. Pretty much best mom ever, ammiright? So everyone’s laughing, and sipping, and you swallow that third bite of brie when it hits. The urge. You look around. It’s okay. You’re …
Insomnia is no joke. Like, sure, I’m sure there are funny insomnia jokes out there, like, “I never get tired of telling insomnia jokes…” Think about it. Thiiiink about it. Seriously though, here is the true and 100% fact-filled reason Why I Have Trouble Sleeping Every Single Night. Me, all day, every day: I. Need. …
Tina Belcher is the oldest daughter in the Fox animated series Bob’s Burgers and she is WISE beyond her years. These 21 Tina Belcher quotes will prove that she gets you. Like, Really gets you. And me. And the bare essence of what it means to be a woman and living in this world. Because, …
Like any new mom, I had no idea what I was really getting into when I had my first baby. I seriously thought the hard part would be all the diaper changes. Right. There’s too much I’ve Learned as a Toddler’s Mom to even cram in a lifetime. But somehow, its happening! Eep! The best part …